vermillionpart3

i'm updating.. cause it's been a damned long time and i think some people actually looked at this thing.. this is going to be a scattered entry as i will just be saying what comes to mind..

I WAS IN FAMILY GUY!!.. yeah.. sorta.. there was just a character who looked not - unlike me and had the line "Hi, i'm caleb, i like to...
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i think i've become too cavalier about cutting.. i have that damn contract w/ the school that says i won't do it.. so i could get suspended if i accidentally shove it in their faces..

i cut a lot this weekend.. like all over my upper body.. and i have at least a couple of fresh ones on my legs..

the only time this actuallyy...
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A friend of mine recently started cutting.. she'd kinda experimented w/ it in the past but hadn't done much..

i didn't exactly cause her to cut but i certainly bring it up a lot and she sees my scratches and i'm sure what i did was a factor in her cutting

i also didn't ever tell her not to.. but i still just don't see...
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okay.. new policy.. i'm endin gmy use of teh backspace key .. except for typos of course...

mostly cause i'd probably have twice as many DJ entries if i wasnt' in the habit of starting them and then backspacing the fuck out of them.. dammit, this policy has the major downside of that i can't even rephrase things.. ah well.. i really wanted to go...
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so i'm a slick bastard...

i kinda felt like cutting when i happened to be in the bathroom between classes.. and i knew not many people used this bathroom much..

so i pulled out my little blade and recut a cut on my elbow area and then another one on my stomach..

so i'm a slick bastard because i forgot i waaas wearing a white...
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late night musings..

i feel like i could just say that phrase and that would sum up all i'm thinking of saying..

will i ever stop feeling the need to be an introspective hooooker?..

i never ended up going to the counseling centere because luck would have it i was feeling surprisingly okay for the past few days..

there're soooooooo many people soooooo much more...
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i'm getting sick of feeling like crap.. and always for stupid reasons too.. it's always about a girl. or i'll just randomly feel myself slipping down and there's that old feeling of FIX MY HEAD...

cutting kinda helps if only to think i have something i can do if it gets really bad.. because obviously cutting solves nothing.. and you can only do it so...
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dlksajfskdljfask

(one of those moods).

sometimes i really think i need to get the shit kicked outta me.. maybe it'd shut up some of the irrational aggressive thoughts i get..

i mean.. yeah, i've started workin out.. but i'm still skinny as fuck..

FUCK!!

i feel like i'm back in high school.. i keep gettin these feelings of "who the fuck am i?"..

pardon me while i be trivial for a moment..

being about three or four weeks into the school year. things are finally gettin serious w/ classes..

i had my first test in chem today.. which was freakin me out.. but i think i kicked it's ass.. of course.. right now i should be hauling ass on my particle mechanics work that's due tomorrow.. but it's...
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this blows..

being sooooooo damned attached to someone i can't have..

and it's so ridiculous how badly i want her.. and in so many ways too.. obviously i want her wicked bad in a sexual way... but i also just want to be close to her.. physically and emotionally (stfu if this sounds lame)...

FUCK

... and i know if i settle for someone else...
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