velocity

It's so weird to me that people keep congratulating me on my marriage. It's not like it was an actual accomplishment, really. We just decided that, after five years, we were both really too lazy to go out and find someone else, and that getting hitched might net us some profit. Getting congrats for that kind of feels like people are saying, "Hey, way to...
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I, like so many other people in the world, am now a Smith.

It was a great day. Thanks to all who participated. And seriously, it was the best damn cream cheese frosting I've ever had.

It's time for SUPER AMAZING TRUE LIFE TALES FROM KERI'S HOUSE!

or

Why Portland Needs a Hobo-apult, and launching hoboes from the hobo-apult should be an official Portland sport.

Scene:
Late in the wee hours at Keri's house. The modem and the hard drive on Dave's computer both barfed up their guts simultaneously while Dave was trying to print a boarding pass for a business...
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Whenever Dave and I discuss who we'd like to see in a particular movie role, it kind of always comes back to Hugo Weaving. Today in the car it was decided that we'd like to see Hugo Weaving playing Patrick Stewart playing Spider Jerusalem. It was also decided that I would probably go see a movie called "Hugo Weaving Takes a Poop" because, well, it...
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I woke up this morning feeling as if I'd been mauled by strippers.

Hm. There must be a reason for that.

I'm having one of those days where every song I hear gets mercilessly, painfully stuck in my head. Thus far today it's been:

Pet Sematary by The Ramones
The Doctor Who theme song
Magic Bus - The Who
Hip Hop is Dead by Nas
Do the Mario (of Super Mario fame--not a fun one to have rolling around the brain)
And currently the A Team...
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There is now a very high likelihood of dog-on-dog face humping at my wedding. You're so jealous, I know.

Yesterday my grandmother sent me a yellow checkered table cloth, some chopsticks in paper kimonos, and a picture of my father when he was three years old. Little Freddy was adorable.

Yeah, I'm getting married...but only because I was promised a puppy when it's over.

After much debate and discussion by some of the world's most advanced thinkers, it has been determined that the creepiest thing in the world is...moustache tickles from Wilford Brimley.

I shudder to think of the military applications of that one.