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vassago

Member Since 2002

Followers 43 Following 32

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Thursday Jul 25, 2002

Jul 25, 2002
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....back in Detroit.

getting away was entirely necessary.
I completed more writing and photography in those fourteen days than i have in several months previous.

im lazy.

Colorodo is a pretty state.
Everything seems alot more polished than detroit.
I would never want to live there.

I visited the remains of the Haymen (SP?) fire.
In it's own way, the burnt forest is quite beautiful.

I managed to catch floor tickets to see Tool in Denver while i was there. The show was great, though it is funny to see that Maynard has gotten a little bit of a belly.
Throughout the performence i held a certain friend close and meditated deeply.

i left that show with a terrible headache.

Later that evening, i made excellent friends with two very interesting young women....

A few days later, i caught Voltaire (the singer) at a Denver goth club ("onyx").
He is amazing, and sexy as hell.

I was able to come to peace with certian things while there..

Unfortunately, one of the few women i would actually allow myself to commit to decided to push me far, far way.
I being a total retard, fluctuate from emotionally devastated to emotionally vacant on the subject.
Well, whatever. I want to be wanted passionately. If someone is unable, or unwilling to give me that. I refuse to pursue the relationship to anything deeper than passivity.

I saw a palm reader while i was travelling.
she had some interesting insights.

She says that despite what i think, Im not actually Italian.
She says my family were Celts who were moved to southern italy many years ago.
..interesting.

She also told me that i would be leaving Michigan for awhile after this upcoming august.
Heh, I thought i was going to a new semester of college.

Altogether, the experience allowed me to gain some much needed focus.

saturn1:
i'm glad it was an experience in lieu of not being anything at or counter-productive. at least you have enough sense to see that you want to be wanted passionately. i fucked up two relationships that were on two oppostite ends of the spectrum, one being me not feeling passion and the other wanting it from someone who was unwilling to let it be even if it was felt. things may be better if i'd just let it go. learned my lesson i guess...but you've probably saved yourself a lot of unescessary pain. life is weird,

the thing about psychics is that they can see what will happen if you choose a certain path but things change completely based on your decisions. i was a raised by a woman that may have saved my life a couple times and gave me no choice but to recognize that there is another sense that most of us ignore.

anyways, thanks for the kind email.
Jul 27, 2002

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