I dreamt last night...
Of the coming crisis. If I will succeed in detoxing.. I am almost ready for the hospital now.
it almost all that I think about.
Mg, I dreamt of you for the first since you left me.
I dreamt of your body, of curling up into it the way that I once did.
Instead of being marred by fear and pain, the dream was comfortable and beautiful.
I felt such a love for you in that little place, and you were as the girl that I first met a year back... graceful and intelligent and loving... before you changed...
When I woke from the dream tears were already dominating my face.
I didnt know i miss you. Not like this.
I passed your home the other day.. it is for rent.
I assume you found some foool to move in with and shack up.
I iwsh you moved slower, forthought your actions more.
When my rebirth is done, the thing I could be.
You always swore that I was not human, you knew better. It scared me that you know...
And it's tragic, cause you could have all of that. Every dream you ever cast, If we had somehow seen it through, we would have made ours. In a way I do blame myself... I have the scarr to remind me with each sunrise as I leap from some new dream back into our world. I am so tired of it here. Please forgive me if I dont win this battle. I will always love you.
Now, we are a fading psychic connection; slowly fading, ebbing movements of prana.
Of the coming crisis. If I will succeed in detoxing.. I am almost ready for the hospital now.
it almost all that I think about.
Mg, I dreamt of you for the first since you left me.
I dreamt of your body, of curling up into it the way that I once did.
Instead of being marred by fear and pain, the dream was comfortable and beautiful.
I felt such a love for you in that little place, and you were as the girl that I first met a year back... graceful and intelligent and loving... before you changed...
When I woke from the dream tears were already dominating my face.
I didnt know i miss you. Not like this.
I passed your home the other day.. it is for rent.
I assume you found some foool to move in with and shack up.
I iwsh you moved slower, forthought your actions more.
When my rebirth is done, the thing I could be.
You always swore that I was not human, you knew better. It scared me that you know...
And it's tragic, cause you could have all of that. Every dream you ever cast, If we had somehow seen it through, we would have made ours. In a way I do blame myself... I have the scarr to remind me with each sunrise as I leap from some new dream back into our world. I am so tired of it here. Please forgive me if I dont win this battle. I will always love you.
Now, we are a fading psychic connection; slowly fading, ebbing movements of prana.
But I'm gonna try for the kingdom, if I can
'Cause it makes me feel like I'm a man
When I put a spike into my vein
And I'll tell ya, things aren't quite the same
When I'm rushing on my run
And I feel just like Jesus' son
And I guess that I just don't know
And I guess that I just don't know
I have made the big decision
I'm gonna try to nullify my life
'Cause when the blood begins to flow
When it shoots up the dropper's neck
When I'm closing in on death
And you can't help me now, you guys
And all you sweet girls with all your sweet talk
You can all go take a walk
And I guess that I just don't know
And I guess that I just don't know
I wish that I was born a thousand years ago
I wish that I'd sail the darkened seas
On a great big clipper ship
Going from this land here to that
In a sailor's suit and cap
Away from the big city
Where a man can not be free
Of all of the evils of this town
And of himself, and those around
Oh, and I guess that I just don't know
Oh, and I guess that I just don't know
Heroin, be the death of me
Heroin, it's my wife and it's my life
Because a mainer to my vein
Leads to a center in my head
And then I'm better off and dead
Because when the smack begins to flow
I really don't care anymore
About all the Jim-Jim's in this town
And all the politicians makin' crazy sounds
And everybody puttin' everybody else down
And all the dead bodies piled up in mounds
'Cause when the smack begins to flow
Then I really don't care anymore
Ah, when the heroin is in my blood
And that blood is in my head
Then thank God that I'm as good as dead
Then thank your God that I'm not aware
And thank God that I just don't care
And I guess I just don't know
And I guess I just don't know
was just listening to that and it actually cheered me up. got some news that i didn't want to get today. so now i have to go through the fertility meds once again and hope that next month will be the month with the good news. i feel like a fertlilty med lab rat,it's kinda getting me down. me being a mom will happen sooner or later. i gues i just need to keep myself happy and busy so i don't just sit here and dwell on the past
[Edited on Sep 10, 2004 11:00AM]