vassago

Ive tried to survive this.
How could you just NOT even bother talking to me anymore at all?

I know you hate me for needing you.

I love you, I dont know what else to say.
Nothing matters.. the endless volumes Ive written you mean nothing.
After two years of loving me.. you tirn yourself off like a lightswitch.

I only got sad because you wanted to smoke again.. how was that too much??

Im nothing anymore.
I am random fits of crying and vomitting.
I am starvation and drug abuse and lacerations.
yes, even right now.

I saw you last night, the entire night.
You were all of my dreams.
In one such dream, i was dying.. something had happened.
you were there.
You leaned down to my body, and said you were busy, and that you had to go.
You left.. you got into a car with your father.. and left.
You left like it was nothing.

I dont want to dream about you. It crushes me...
.. why cant you just call me.. just to be civil?

I know, I am pathetic. I can see that.
Trust me, I hate myself more than you do.

I am going to go. Ill probably cut myself.
I dont want to hear anything that you think about it.