vassago

I thought you , of anyone, were bigger than this. But still, your pulling the SAME bullshit the others have. I dont know how to forgive people for it anymore; because it isnt necesssary. Im human.. Ive made mistakes... but not to the point that I be laden with so many lies and so much grief and foolishness.

I am by no meansa perfect kid... but im NOT an evil boy either. Still, by circumstance, Ive lost nearly all of my friends over the pas several months.. each to their own story. yet all eerily similar; Kat, Morg, Steph, David, Audra, Rick... all to te same sad ending: goodbye.

I can scarecelty (sp?) count those near to me on one hand these days. If you ask anyone that has estranged from me or lied to me or used me; they would say that i had done something to damage them. And perhaps they are telling soem form of thier truth.

I have my faults: My head is always in the clouds, I bend SO far over for those that I love that I seem selfish to everyone else. Im a semi -idealist with some STRONG naturalist tendancies... so people see in me a pessimist. I own pretty things: but if they all burned i wouldnt cry.... But people still think Im a shallow prick.
But Im not a prick, just a broken hearted egoist. You've known a few of those.
Above, way above, all of that... GREAT BIG changes are astirring in me, about to rip right open. Im aboutto detox from the dragon, forever. Noone is supporting me it seems, none could give two dead shits.
Stroy remains; when Im done dying, when I am through; WILL be a different thing. I will be a thing that thirsts for keys and knowledge and love. It breaks my heart... but are you all lies? does noone want to be part of someting better?