unravled

OMG I FIXED THE INTERNETS!!!11

It had to be done, I had to look at Al's new set. My mom always said I could do anything I set my mind to.

My week of productivity at home has come to an end, obviously. My productivity at work might take a jump, though.

So this is what I do when I have no internet at home:

• Get new couches. They match!


• Go to Chik-Fil-A, the religious rights answer to KFC, but a million times better because God is on their side.


• Be amazed at the sheer amount of stuff under my old couches.


• Plant strawberries, which my dog subsequently digs up


• Plan to replace garden hose, which the...
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So...phone sex in the middle of the day rocks. Who's with me?

Stop diet time
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) (x2)
(Oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh oh-oh)
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) can't touch this (x3)
(Oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh) break it down
(Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (x3)
Stop diet time

So I spent three hours in the car with pensquare and JohnnyHomicide. Three hours of what should have been a one hour trip to Fatburger in LA. I think I was hysterical and hallucinating by the end of it, but I do remember:

-clown porn

-Groucho Marx porn

-Karl Marx porn

One thing I learned, NEVER ask me for directions, and don't count on...
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No, those weren't mine. I'm not that talented and I don't have that much time.

No internet at home means I get a lot done, though. Like cookie making for those of you I promised.

And gardening because it's spring and my new neighbor likes to look at my ass while I plant flowers.

And conquering the world. Those damn Egyptians will pay for their...
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I just sold something called the ACDC-3000. I'm awesome.

In other news, my internet is out at home again.

In other news, someone should buy me this.

I want prom to happen now.

I cut off all my hair.