txakurgorri

This was a bloody awful weekend.

I am filled with anger, hurt; a feeling of absolute nothingness eating my sanity. Very Neverending Story. Except the Nothing is my own rage. The person in my life fills me with this rage. It is not her fault completely. Most of it falls to me, but I cannot help but be hurt by her actions and words.

The extremes in my daily life create confusion and frustration. This in turn creates pain. Pain leads to anger. Anger is my gift to the world.

I know I have done many a bad thing in this relationship. I have fucked up repeatedly, and am constantly reminded of this. Yet, my pain and anger comes from somewhere. Is it just me?

I am doing everything I can right now to fix my problems. I have admitted that I am not the right person for her, yet nothing I do is enough. Nothing I say is quite right. I am no longer me or the idea of who I thought I was.

I just want to start anew.