I was driving home from Herndon on the Fairfax County Parkway. It is a nice 35 minute-ish drive. The road is dark, the sky and the mass of trees creating a black on black background, all zooming by at 60 miles per hour. I was reminded of the late Sunday nights I'd be driving from my dad's back home to Iowa City. I-380 becoming the darkest, most desolate strip of highway at that midnight moment. The only light the stars, the moon, and the headlights on the dark grey pavement. Zooming by small farm towns, speeding home, fighting off sleep; for those 72 miles, even with Daniella next to me asleep, I felt alone and yet peaceful.
All this reminiscing made me realize certain thoughts. What drives me or us as a whole? What pushes us?
For instance, I was at the post office this morning picking up some mail. As I waited for the postal worker to return with it, I saw a father pretty much scare the shit out of his three kids. He was doing the hushed, clenched teeth face that parents seem to know how to use with the greatest effect. The look on the children's faces was of total fear. They stopped horsing around for one full minute.
They could not stop themselves from being children, though. They went right back to being brothers and sister. Just kids being kids. Even though they knew their parents would punish them, they could not help themselves but to be themselves.
Why? Why do we insist on going against the grain, both our own selves and society's? We are walking, talking, shitting, fucking contradictions.
I am an asshole. I am a nice guy. I am quirky at best, annoying at worst.
I have seen and done things that most people my age might never do. Then again, I have not done things that people my age have done. I have surprised myself with things I have done, in both the good and bad varieties. I have made mistakes of both the grand and small assortment.
Do I regret any of my choices? I don't believe it doing that. But then again, I don't believe in being dogmatic in my beliefs.
Like I said, a contradiction.
You can call me an asshole and a quirky nice guy, but, if you want, you can just call me Nik.
All this reminiscing made me realize certain thoughts. What drives me or us as a whole? What pushes us?
For instance, I was at the post office this morning picking up some mail. As I waited for the postal worker to return with it, I saw a father pretty much scare the shit out of his three kids. He was doing the hushed, clenched teeth face that parents seem to know how to use with the greatest effect. The look on the children's faces was of total fear. They stopped horsing around for one full minute.
They could not stop themselves from being children, though. They went right back to being brothers and sister. Just kids being kids. Even though they knew their parents would punish them, they could not help themselves but to be themselves.
Why? Why do we insist on going against the grain, both our own selves and society's? We are walking, talking, shitting, fucking contradictions.
I am an asshole. I am a nice guy. I am quirky at best, annoying at worst.
I have seen and done things that most people my age might never do. Then again, I have not done things that people my age have done. I have surprised myself with things I have done, in both the good and bad varieties. I have made mistakes of both the grand and small assortment.
Do I regret any of my choices? I don't believe it doing that. But then again, I don't believe in being dogmatic in my beliefs.
Like I said, a contradiction.
You can call me an asshole and a quirky nice guy, but, if you want, you can just call me Nik.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
i hope you are doing well.
Che, es eso lo que yo digo de Cruise, actua todo el tiempo... DE TOM CRUISE! Y eso es lo que me estresa de el, esas caritas PELOTUDAS bien CRUISE qeume dan ganas de darle un mazazo en la cara.
Pero esta esta muy buena.