Ok, I installed your filthy AOLIM. I'm called Traumatron24.
Sigh. Now for your filthy 'layers' jive...
LAYER ONE: On The Outside
- Name: Traumatron
- Nickname: Colin, Cedric, Colon, The Compere, The Mighty Traumatron, 'tron, Tronnykins, Good Ol' Charlie 'tron.
- Birth date: 23/4/81
- Birthplace: Reading
- Current Location: Brighton. It's better tha neverywhere else. Factoid.
- Eye Color: Blue.
- Hair Color: Naturally brown. I expect I'll dye it to match my new glasses soon.
- Height: 5' 8. But I'm constantly wearing my Jolly Boots Of Doom to get up to 6'.
- Righty or Lefty: Righty. I am ambidextrous when it comes to onanism, mind you.
- Zodiac Sign: Taurus. Annoyingly, my character does indeed match the nonsense that these astro people have drawn up for me.
LAYER TWO: On The Inside
- Your heritage: English/Irish/Robot/Zombie
- Who you look like: This question is really -'what celebrity do you look like?' isn't it? I dont know. Someone really fucking cranky, but is lovely really.
- Your weakness: None. None that I care to admit to, or am currently aware of anyway.
- Your fears: Being alone. There'd be no one to show off in front of.
- Your perfect pizza: I'm not fussed. I'll have what what you're having.
- Goal you'd like to achieve: Well, getting through Uni with some kind of 'shit, this guy is really good' award. That's a short term goal. I have lots.
LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
- Your most overused phrase on messenger: 'Heh.'
- Your thoughts first waking up: My brain is far too weird to nail down one thought. But usually, I'll have a part of an old song on repeat in my frontal lobe.
- Your best physical feature: Hmm. My mouth. I'm pretty kissable. Seriously.
- Your bedtime: weekday: 11pm. weekend: whenever i fall down.
- Your most missed memory: Eating apple donuts under a tree with a girl called Rachael.
LAYER FOUR: Your Pick
- Pepsi or Coke: Neither. This is the stupidest question in the world, by the way.
- McDonald's or Burger King: Fuck off.
- Single or group dates: ...I don't know.
- Adidas or Nike: Yeah, right.
- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate.
- Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino IS cofee, you fiery fucknut. But yeah, I'll have one if you're making one.
LAYER FIVE: Do You?
- Smoke: I smoulder.
- Cuss: Professionally.
- Sing: If I wanted to, yes.
- Have a crush: Only on fictional people. I tend to find them less dysfunctional than you real-lifers.
- Think you've been in love: Don't talk down to me.
- Like high school: I'm 24. I had a certain fondess for being a sixth former but, I'm generally pretty embittered regarding my education.
- Want to get married: Yes. It will be an apocalyptic event.
- Believe in yourself: Of course. And so should everyone else. Look upon me as a terrible black santa, people should.
- Get motion sickness: Not really.
- Think you're attractive: I'm a nice looking lad. Need to shed a few pounds - but not as many as the majority of you sweating flab creatures I'll wager.
- Think you're a health freak: No.
- Get along with your parents: I barely see them. But yes.
- Like thunderstorms: Yeah, I suppose. As long as their happening while I'm at home.
- Play an instrument: Sadly not. I'd quite like to learn the Piano, though.
LAYER SIX: In the past month...
- Drank alcohol: Yes. More than you.
- Smoked: I don't think so.
- Done a drug: Nope.
- Gone to the mall: Um, yeah, I suppose.
- Cried: Yeah, but only a single manly tear. It was when Darth Vaders mask got put on for the first time. Silly to you, I'm sure. But at least I wasnt weeping like some french school girl because Billy wouldnt take me to the senior prom.
- Kissed someone you didnt want to: I very rarely kiss anyone. I'm not a terribly kissy person. Aside from with the mrs. obviously.
-Been on stage: Yeah, actually. I was fucking funny too.
- Gone skating: what?
- Gone skinny dipping: Fuck that.
- Dyed your hair: Not yet.
- Stolen anything: Um...no. No I don't think so. Oh wait, yes. I downloaded a Nick Cave album.
LAYER SEVEN: Ever..
- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yeah. I was young.
- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Frequently.
- Been caught "doing something": I'm NEVER caught "doing something". I'm brutally inactive. Witness my catatonia.
- Been called a tease: yeah. I was a fucking horrible teenager. There was a chinese girl who I led on for months. She needed to exfoliate. Maybe then i could have loved her.
- Gotten beaten up: Amazingly - no. Sure, I've taken a knock that sent me sprawling, but I've never had a sound beating.
- Shoplifted: Oh dear me yes.
LAYER EIGHT: Getting Older
- Age you hope to be married: I'm not in any rush. Nic is though.
- Numbers and Names of Children: I doubt we'll spawn. I want a cat called Starscream.
- Describe your dream wedding: I cant be bothered. Needless to say - it will be better than anything you could dream up. you feckless losers.
- How do you want to die: Laughing.
- What do you want to be when you grow up: Some kind of...web art...design...man. Yeah. Or maybe I'll give comedy another bash.
- What country would you most like to visit: Sigh...Japan, I suppose. I couldnt care less right this second.
LAYER NINE: In a partner
- Best eye color: Green if you've got it, Blue if ya don't.
- Hair color: Gentlemen have no real preference.
- Short or long hair: As long hair is present, I'm happy.
- Height: I honestly fail to see how this will affect our compatibility. But I like my girls tiny.
- Weight: again, I'll love you if you're an 8 or a 16. I'm not fussed.
- Best articles of clothing: Vintage style, if you please.
LAYER TEN: In The Numbers...
- Number of people I could trust with my life: I don't fully trust anyone. I'll look after myself, if you don't mind.
- Number of CDs that I own: change that for MP3's - quite a few.
- Number of piercings: One. Maybe more to follow.
- Number of tattoos: None. Toying with the idea of getting TRAUMATRON or KILL ALL HUMANS on my back.
- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Just the once. Nic wrote an article about me and my job, when I was a kid working in Kwiksave. You should have seen the picture.
- Number of things in my past that I regret: Everything has happened for a reason, I suppose. But I regret moving in with those fucking do-gooders in Luton for two years.
Sigh. Now for your filthy 'layers' jive...
LAYER ONE: On The Outside
- Name: Traumatron
- Nickname: Colin, Cedric, Colon, The Compere, The Mighty Traumatron, 'tron, Tronnykins, Good Ol' Charlie 'tron.
- Birth date: 23/4/81
- Birthplace: Reading
- Current Location: Brighton. It's better tha neverywhere else. Factoid.
- Eye Color: Blue.
- Hair Color: Naturally brown. I expect I'll dye it to match my new glasses soon.
- Height: 5' 8. But I'm constantly wearing my Jolly Boots Of Doom to get up to 6'.
- Righty or Lefty: Righty. I am ambidextrous when it comes to onanism, mind you.
- Zodiac Sign: Taurus. Annoyingly, my character does indeed match the nonsense that these astro people have drawn up for me.
LAYER TWO: On The Inside
- Your heritage: English/Irish/Robot/Zombie
- Who you look like: This question is really -'what celebrity do you look like?' isn't it? I dont know. Someone really fucking cranky, but is lovely really.
- Your weakness: None. None that I care to admit to, or am currently aware of anyway.
- Your fears: Being alone. There'd be no one to show off in front of.
- Your perfect pizza: I'm not fussed. I'll have what what you're having.
- Goal you'd like to achieve: Well, getting through Uni with some kind of 'shit, this guy is really good' award. That's a short term goal. I have lots.
LAYER THREE: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
- Your most overused phrase on messenger: 'Heh.'
- Your thoughts first waking up: My brain is far too weird to nail down one thought. But usually, I'll have a part of an old song on repeat in my frontal lobe.
- Your best physical feature: Hmm. My mouth. I'm pretty kissable. Seriously.
- Your bedtime: weekday: 11pm. weekend: whenever i fall down.
- Your most missed memory: Eating apple donuts under a tree with a girl called Rachael.
LAYER FOUR: Your Pick
- Pepsi or Coke: Neither. This is the stupidest question in the world, by the way.
- McDonald's or Burger King: Fuck off.
- Single or group dates: ...I don't know.
- Adidas or Nike: Yeah, right.
- Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate.
- Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino IS cofee, you fiery fucknut. But yeah, I'll have one if you're making one.
LAYER FIVE: Do You?
- Smoke: I smoulder.
- Cuss: Professionally.
- Sing: If I wanted to, yes.
- Have a crush: Only on fictional people. I tend to find them less dysfunctional than you real-lifers.
- Think you've been in love: Don't talk down to me.
- Like high school: I'm 24. I had a certain fondess for being a sixth former but, I'm generally pretty embittered regarding my education.
- Want to get married: Yes. It will be an apocalyptic event.
- Believe in yourself: Of course. And so should everyone else. Look upon me as a terrible black santa, people should.
- Get motion sickness: Not really.
- Think you're attractive: I'm a nice looking lad. Need to shed a few pounds - but not as many as the majority of you sweating flab creatures I'll wager.
- Think you're a health freak: No.
- Get along with your parents: I barely see them. But yes.
- Like thunderstorms: Yeah, I suppose. As long as their happening while I'm at home.
- Play an instrument: Sadly not. I'd quite like to learn the Piano, though.
LAYER SIX: In the past month...
- Drank alcohol: Yes. More than you.
- Smoked: I don't think so.
- Done a drug: Nope.
- Gone to the mall: Um, yeah, I suppose.
- Cried: Yeah, but only a single manly tear. It was when Darth Vaders mask got put on for the first time. Silly to you, I'm sure. But at least I wasnt weeping like some french school girl because Billy wouldnt take me to the senior prom.
- Kissed someone you didnt want to: I very rarely kiss anyone. I'm not a terribly kissy person. Aside from with the mrs. obviously.
-Been on stage: Yeah, actually. I was fucking funny too.
- Gone skating: what?
- Gone skinny dipping: Fuck that.
- Dyed your hair: Not yet.
- Stolen anything: Um...no. No I don't think so. Oh wait, yes. I downloaded a Nick Cave album.
LAYER SEVEN: Ever..
- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yeah. I was young.
- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Frequently.
- Been caught "doing something": I'm NEVER caught "doing something". I'm brutally inactive. Witness my catatonia.
- Been called a tease: yeah. I was a fucking horrible teenager. There was a chinese girl who I led on for months. She needed to exfoliate. Maybe then i could have loved her.
- Gotten beaten up: Amazingly - no. Sure, I've taken a knock that sent me sprawling, but I've never had a sound beating.
- Shoplifted: Oh dear me yes.
LAYER EIGHT: Getting Older
- Age you hope to be married: I'm not in any rush. Nic is though.
- Numbers and Names of Children: I doubt we'll spawn. I want a cat called Starscream.
- Describe your dream wedding: I cant be bothered. Needless to say - it will be better than anything you could dream up. you feckless losers.
- How do you want to die: Laughing.
- What do you want to be when you grow up: Some kind of...web art...design...man. Yeah. Or maybe I'll give comedy another bash.
- What country would you most like to visit: Sigh...Japan, I suppose. I couldnt care less right this second.
LAYER NINE: In a partner
- Best eye color: Green if you've got it, Blue if ya don't.
- Hair color: Gentlemen have no real preference.
- Short or long hair: As long hair is present, I'm happy.
- Height: I honestly fail to see how this will affect our compatibility. But I like my girls tiny.
- Weight: again, I'll love you if you're an 8 or a 16. I'm not fussed.
- Best articles of clothing: Vintage style, if you please.
LAYER TEN: In The Numbers...
- Number of people I could trust with my life: I don't fully trust anyone. I'll look after myself, if you don't mind.
- Number of CDs that I own: change that for MP3's - quite a few.
- Number of piercings: One. Maybe more to follow.
- Number of tattoos: None. Toying with the idea of getting TRAUMATRON or KILL ALL HUMANS on my back.
- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Just the once. Nic wrote an article about me and my job, when I was a kid working in Kwiksave. You should have seen the picture.
- Number of things in my past that I regret: Everything has happened for a reason, I suppose. But I regret moving in with those fucking do-gooders in Luton for two years.
This was actually quite good.