superficial

today was a weird day... i saw a cute girl shopping today and she smiled at me, and i smiled back... and i wanted to talk to her... but i couldn't for some reason.

for the first time in awhile, though... i didn't feel bad for looking at other girls... does that mean i might finally be realizing that it's really over between me and the ex? i don't know what i'm feeling... i'm so torn between just wanting to fix things and wanting a new life... but, then i remember all the bad that came with the good... and i don't want to take back the bad.

i want a fresh start... but, i'm no good at starting things... ahhh... i just wish someone would tell me what to do every step of the way... i'm so bad at making decisions and starting conversations, too...