I've lost 10 followers since yesterday. (But who's counting?) But hey, it's okay, just as long as I don't lose YOU.
A man goes straight to the bar and asks the barmaid for a beer, which she begins to pour. While he's waiting, he notices a small food menu off to the side. Cheese Sandwich $5, Ham Sandwich $5, Handjob $5. In disbelief he looks at the barmaid, who is absolutely gorgeous, and asks, "Are you the one that gives the handjobs?" "Yep," she replies with...
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A woman walks into a pet store and sees a handsome bright red parrot. She asks the cashier how much the parrot is. The cashier says, "I'll sell him to you, but I should warn you, it was donated by a brothel, so it may have picked up some colorful language." The woman says "Oh, that's okay", purchases the parrot and takes it home. When...
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All of the so-called "secrets of success" will not work unless you do. - Unknown
For my new profile picture, I went to an old friend, Vivian (Viv) Stanshall, from that great band of British eccentrics, the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band. In case you were wondering. Or really even if you weren't.
You're sitting there naked and the barista has just called the police. What do you do? (based on a true story)
Today is @squeak 's birthday. Wish her a happy one.
The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of...
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"The beautiful thing about learning is that no one can take it away from you." - B.B. King
"Look at what you've got and make the best of it. It is better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." - Proverb
