"I was married 3 times", explained a man to a newly discovered drinking partner, "and I'll never marry again. My first two wives died from eating poison mushrooms and my third wife died of a fractured skull." "That's a shame," said the friend, "How did it happen?" "She wouldn't eat the mushrooms."
"I suppose it is true, my life does resemble a butterfly's existence, moving around from one flower to the next. But of course, butterflies do pollinate. There is a point to their activity. I hope there is to mine." - Jonathan Miller
Two words........restraining order.
"Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde
A jet plane suddenly bursts into flames whilst it is thousands of feet in the air. Everyone is panicking, death is imminent. One woman stands up and declares, "I want to feel like a woman one last time if anyone here is man enough to do it." A man near her promptly stands up, takes off his shirt, and says, "Here, iron this."
(Given the...
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"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." - Theodore Roosevelt
Once. my identity was stolen. A short time later it was returned to me. With condolences.
Really, it's true.
The other day I was perusing the magazine rack at the neighborhood grocery store (bodega, canteen, PX) when some writing on the cover of a magazine caught my eye....
"Sarah Jessica Parker, Shoe Designer"
What?????
Somewhere, an unemployed blacksmith is weeping.
"Confidence comes not from always being right, but from not fearing to be wrong. " - Peter McIntyre
"I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but it comes from within. It is there all the time." - Anna Freud