I'm trying to turn over a new leaf and not feed on the negatives of my current situation. My temper (when it comes to certain people) can overwhelm me and has a tendency to lead me somewhere I don't like to be anymore.
I like to be chill, even-tempered, and mellow. Stress kills me, my metabolism and my mind. I feel like shit when I'm all worked up, not just emotionally. My stomach ties itself in knots, I shake mildly and I can't think straight, it's not pleasant.
Changing lifestyle, adding much more plant based meals (4 days a week, thanks Thug Kitchen!), cut out soda, cut out fast food. Cut some of the poisonous/toxic people in my life out (minus the biggest one, I have to deal with that nightmare for the next 18 years).
I'm choosing to be better. My attitude yesterday was corrected after a trip to a friend's house and a long conversation with his wife. She has a tendency to know how to speak to me the right way and calm me down. After the conversation my perspective shifted back to where I think it should be, doing what I can to improve the things I can while dealings with the things i cannot change.
I stumble occasionally and crumble under the weight of my world. Lose sight of my goals, and give in to the negativity that comes from the noxious sources in my life. It all gets to be too much sometimes.
I tell myself to breathe, calm down, think and then react if you need to. Sometimes it works, sometime it isn't enough. It all lives and dies with my perspective that day.
But today is good, and I'll enjoy what I feel is a well deserved reprieve....