snakeplissken

For Earth Day I gave a tree the finger, set fire to some styrofoam cups, and pushed a hippy down some stairs. Then I went home and ate three different species. I like to think I contribute more than the average person.

And now music.

After two weeks of food safety class I've come to find that it all boils down to one very simple principle. Keep poop out of food, and your fingers out of your butt. Who knew?

And now, some sounds to soothe the soul.

I'm working on getting this riff down. Shut up, it's catchy and needs a metal redo.

You can tell it's the first warm spring day because the boobs are a poppin' on campus. Apparently it's time to get some sun on those poor pale gals.

In food safety class this hippy girl next to me fucked around on Facebook for over a half-hour, read part of a book, then had the balls to start asking people around her what the prof just went over while the aforementioned went on. God I want to poop in her tofu satay and slap her with her own Birkenstock.

In other news, the most...
Read More

I just finished pounding out a shitload of tenderloins for the MisterSatan shindig tommorrow. If you don't know what a tenderloin is allow me to explain. You get a big hunk of pork tenderloin, slice it about a 1/2 inch thick and have your butcher run it through the tenderizer. Then you take that and trim out all the fat and ugh you can. Be...
Read More

Yesterday was a trip to the Rogue Brewery for major deals on good beer and whatnot. I got a 12 pack of 22's of White Frog for 26 bucks. Over half-off regular price due to the fact they screwed up and bottled it in bottles meant for Golden Ale. Whoops. Not that I care what bottle it's in. Picked up a Yellow Snow IPA pint...
Read More

Oh god another fill in the blank thingy. I guess I'll do this as my life is so boring I have nothing else to say other than "waffle sandwich" I guess. If you've never had you're not living.

Here is some nonsense to read

1. name: Jason
2. single or taken: sigh
3. sex: I'm all man baby.
4. birthday: 7-29-79
5. sign: Leo
6....
Read More

Here's another one of those fill in the blank doohickies. I did this instead of homework. Yea responsibility!


AUTOBIOGRAPHY -

Prologue-
1. Who took your profile picture? My hair is a bird, your question is invalid.

2. Exactly what are you wearing right now? pajama-type pants, johnny cash shirt, Dude robe.

3. What is your current problem? I hate writing papers with word counts and...
Read More

I degreased and scraped my oven clean (mostly) this afternoon as my project in lieu of my canceled afternoon class. It was pretty nasty due to super-smart me never lining the damn thing with foil like a smart guy. So as more and more animals, and pizzas, and gyro loafs, and etc. were cooked in there the grease layer built up. And built. Like rings...
Read More