No news so far on poppy. Gotta wait I guess.
Other than that I'm doing ok. Really ok. I think I'm starting to get the anxiety and depression cycles under control to the point where they seem to be fading away. I know this because shit has really been hitting the fan this last month or so and I'm taking it in stride. Previously I would have been crumpled into a ball of despair and angst at situations and occurrences much more trivial. And those occasions when it does occur seem to be becoming less and less frequent. As does the obsessing over and mental replaying of all my past failings and embarrassments. And I'm doing it without any sort of prescription meds or other head tinkerings. Just a lot of self-realization, analysis, and admitting that my problems have been my own creations.
I'm not beating myself up over past heartache nearly as much either; frankly I don't really think of her anymore as my only opportunity for love. I'm seeing my own value and in doing so I'm seeing that there are plenty of fish in the sea and that I made the right choice in moving on. I'll find the right gal eventually, and it won't be one I have to beg for proper treatment; she'll just give it to me freely. Truth be told I look back at it all and feel a little silly and quite a bit like the all-day sucker that's down to the soggy white stick for trying to earn the treatment I deserved. That's ok though, because I learned a lot from it all. And even though it tore me down I built myself back up. Plissken 2.0! Now with self-respect and actual confidence!
It's never to late to start over unless you give up. And I'm gonna do my god-damndest to not take that route again.
Other than that I'm doing ok. Really ok. I think I'm starting to get the anxiety and depression cycles under control to the point where they seem to be fading away. I know this because shit has really been hitting the fan this last month or so and I'm taking it in stride. Previously I would have been crumpled into a ball of despair and angst at situations and occurrences much more trivial. And those occasions when it does occur seem to be becoming less and less frequent. As does the obsessing over and mental replaying of all my past failings and embarrassments. And I'm doing it without any sort of prescription meds or other head tinkerings. Just a lot of self-realization, analysis, and admitting that my problems have been my own creations.
I'm not beating myself up over past heartache nearly as much either; frankly I don't really think of her anymore as my only opportunity for love. I'm seeing my own value and in doing so I'm seeing that there are plenty of fish in the sea and that I made the right choice in moving on. I'll find the right gal eventually, and it won't be one I have to beg for proper treatment; she'll just give it to me freely. Truth be told I look back at it all and feel a little silly and quite a bit like the all-day sucker that's down to the soggy white stick for trying to earn the treatment I deserved. That's ok though, because I learned a lot from it all. And even though it tore me down I built myself back up. Plissken 2.0! Now with self-respect and actual confidence!
It's never to late to start over unless you give up. And I'm gonna do my god-damndest to not take that route again.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
coyotemike:
It's hard to watch. But I'm so happy to see him looking at life a bit more now. He's living now; he spent so many years just existing.
laceyk:
Ha ha ha. You are awesome!