snakeplissken

So I have a theory about Matthew McConaughey. Basically it's like this; He is Jimmy Dean. You know, the sausage guy and country singer. But how? Simply put, time travel. Sometime in the near future Mr. McConaughey will accidentally craft a time travel device while trying to engineer a high capacity nitrous-clearing electronic bong from a snorkel, a blow dryer, and an old Wet Vac. Sadly this device will only function in reverse, leaving him trapped in the past. Using his country sensibilities and a love of meat, along with a little plastic surgery, he will craft his new persona: Jimmy Dean.

Now I know what you're saying. "Snake, you have smoked yourself retarded". To this I say: retarded like a fox.

Listen to this voice-over as Matthew sings the praises of meat.


Now, a Jimmy Dean commercial.


EERIE!

How can they not be one and the same?

Fuck I need another beer.