slightly_sober

i need to find myself again.
Everything hurts.
i just want her to be happy,
i want to protect her,
tell her that she does deserve to laugh again.

5

soooo, exhausted.
And i'm missing my little lioness.
Got good classes.
Got lotsa reading

couldn't sleep
saw my first sunrise in santa cruz though
Jelousy, love, anger, self pity, all of the things about me that I hate are breaking through the doors in my dreams. Sometimes my dreams trick me into believing what i want to believe.
Then I wake.
I keep trying to convince myself it doesnt matter.
I have to keep busy.

I've realised today that all i've been doing is what i hate most.....waiting, i mean, i've been productive, but the entire time i've just been waiting. I've got a pretty good idea what i'm going to be doing tomorrow too.
I guess it was going to have to happen, I just hoped to keep it as late as possible. My hopes again began to outgrow...
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Well i'm back in class. School is never a hassle and the subjects i've got are really interesting.
Gonna get another tattoo very soon. this weekend or the weekend after depending on circumstances.
Vegas new years kicked soo much arse, I have a remarkable ability to talk my way into anything when high.
Dont want to stop my month long binge just yet though. It...
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I rang home today and my kitten has lukemia and has to be be put down.
i didnt know kittens could get blood cancer

Extreemly productive and boring thanksgiving, I might have to go up to san fran, so this bordom doesnt kill me. still i only have one more project to do so it might happen. i hate powerpoint.
cant help but listen to the butterfly effect over and over. ANYONE READING THIS DOWNLOAD 'CONSEQUENCE'
I learned a good lesson the other day, when buying coffee, always read...
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Sometimes life gives you exactly what you want. I've had one of those days that you come back home and believe you can do anything.........lol, crazy drugs

lovin this studying abroad stuff, so many cool people and places, went to a full moon drum dance thingy, which was unreal, crazy americans. any excuse will do for a party. Then it was off to san fran for the love parade. Awsome music, danced my silly little arse off, then speed, then more dancing, then i found a cute little yank girl with blue...
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