shescrafty

So Nathans back. The break is over, and I survived every second.

The only time I cried while he was gone was when I found out this guy I thought was a friend just wants me for sexual purposes.

I also made a new friend today. She seems sweet, but she lives quite far away.

Last night I saw Ani Defranco at a festival in...
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I've gone from feeling so incredibly weak, to feeling more emotionally healthy than ever.

Nathans been gone for 4 days now, and he wont be home till the 19th. I thought I'd be a complete wreck, but i'm not, not at all. I haven't cried since the night before he left. I miss him tons, but im so calm and together.

I was terrified of...
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Lately I feel like everyone hates me, and that everying I do is wrong. I constantly fuck things up without rvrn trying. Even when Im trying to be good n do the right things, everything goes to hell.

Wendsday i had two pretty big fights with Nathan, both resulting in abnormally long anxiety attacks. So, I went to the ER since my mom was worried....
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I dont want to be here anymore.

I'm tired of being upset. It's been so constant lately.

I've never been so fragile. Everything gets to me.

I cant remember a time in my life where I didn't have to always be strong. I cant take it anymore. I just want to be happy, and i never am. Atleast not for long.
Everytime I find somthing...
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I'm feel a lot better.

Not so lonely. Probably because I solved my problems with one of my friends, and things are finally getting better with another.

I miss Nathan, but surprisingly, I'm really fine without him. One side effect of not talking to him is that I dream about him everynight, but wierd dreams.

I spent time with my oldest friend, Nikole, and her...
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I'm soo sick of people!

I either feel ignored by them, or they get all judgey, or they just generally piss me off!

Right now, when I really need people to talk to, I have nobody.

Tomarrow is the start of the two weeks that I wont be talking to Nathan... Well He said he'd call ever now and then to make sure I'm ok,...
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You know whats a GREAT feeling? Finding out you're not pregnant after days of stressing about it.

*siiiiiigh*

I just got back from Ottawa a couple hrs ago.

I miss it already, and I miss everyone I met. I felt so at home there and with them.
My little town sucks even more now after being there.

It was so amazing to meet Mica, Daniyell and Co. They're fucking awesome people and I love them to pieces.

Spending time with Nathan was of...
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I'm leaving for Ottawa in less than 3 days!!!
I'm soo excited and yet so nervous.
On sunday My guys mom and I are going out and doing Mother/daughter stuff. Im kinda scared bout being alone with her, but I know it'll make her happy since he has no daughters.

Mostly, obviously, Im looking forward to loseing my virginity this friday.
We're gonna fuck so...
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Thank you Dillenger for the membership! You are the greatest guy EVER.