has anyone seen apnea's new set? wow. very cool.
well, to add more drama, because i guess my life is soap opera and no one told me...
cevan. he's in the army, and we dated about a year ago, in sept/oct. not a long realtionship, but one that had a profound effect on me. of course i gave him up for someone else, and i'm still kicking myself about that. this is how me and cevan met:
i took my little bear to madigan for a dr. appt, and as we were leaving, there was this soldier sitting on a bench outside the hospital. he had a cast on his leg and crutches. it was getting late into the afternoon, and i asked him, just on a whim..."hey, do you need a ride or something?"
"nah, my buddy's coming to pick me up."
"you sure?"
"yeah, but thanks though"
so i took bear, got in the car, and just felt like, you know, i don't think anyone's comin to get him...so i swung the car around, and shouted out the window, "last chance!" he smiled, got up, and got in my car. we chatted on the way to his barracks, and swapped emails. then we talked online, and i'd go get him and bring him down here on the weekends. he doesn't have a liscense(#1) because it was suspended. when he was here, we had a great time, he called me "baby" and made me feel completely comfortable. yeah there was some murky stuff in his past(#2), but i felt ok. he was fun, and we laughed manuvering around that cast on his leg. i told him from a psychic standpoint, that an ex would call and say she was pregnant. and she did. within 48 hours of me telling him. she was,and said it was his(#3). and that's when it all unraveled. i backed off, because although i wanted to be with him, it was apparent she wasn't going to let go easy. then it all vaished. i tried calling him, but i had someone else taking up my time, and i couldn't get through when i tried to call. so i let it go.
fast forward to this week. someone has been messenging me on my yahoo, i didn't know who it was until i got a messege saying, "sarah, it's cevan". i was sooo happy. i messeged him back and we talked yesterday. and talked and talked online, and then on my phone when he called me. he misses me, he loves me, he wants to be with me. is there a problem? ahhh, yes....because:
add 1, 2, 3 plus #4-he married her(but we wants to leave her for me), #5-has a daughter now, #6 he's in iraq for another 9 months, #7-his family loves her and she's moving in with his sister in ohio.
so, i'm just not sane. this guy i want so much, i looked for him online for 6 months, he was looking for me for 3, well, we found each other to hit a brick wall. do i hold on? i don't think i should. he could promise me anything he wants, but he's half a world away. he could just be lonely. i just have noooo idea.
i hate this so freakin much.
well, to add more drama, because i guess my life is soap opera and no one told me...
cevan. he's in the army, and we dated about a year ago, in sept/oct. not a long realtionship, but one that had a profound effect on me. of course i gave him up for someone else, and i'm still kicking myself about that. this is how me and cevan met:
i took my little bear to madigan for a dr. appt, and as we were leaving, there was this soldier sitting on a bench outside the hospital. he had a cast on his leg and crutches. it was getting late into the afternoon, and i asked him, just on a whim..."hey, do you need a ride or something?"
"nah, my buddy's coming to pick me up."
"you sure?"
"yeah, but thanks though"
so i took bear, got in the car, and just felt like, you know, i don't think anyone's comin to get him...so i swung the car around, and shouted out the window, "last chance!" he smiled, got up, and got in my car. we chatted on the way to his barracks, and swapped emails. then we talked online, and i'd go get him and bring him down here on the weekends. he doesn't have a liscense(#1) because it was suspended. when he was here, we had a great time, he called me "baby" and made me feel completely comfortable. yeah there was some murky stuff in his past(#2), but i felt ok. he was fun, and we laughed manuvering around that cast on his leg. i told him from a psychic standpoint, that an ex would call and say she was pregnant. and she did. within 48 hours of me telling him. she was,and said it was his(#3). and that's when it all unraveled. i backed off, because although i wanted to be with him, it was apparent she wasn't going to let go easy. then it all vaished. i tried calling him, but i had someone else taking up my time, and i couldn't get through when i tried to call. so i let it go.
fast forward to this week. someone has been messenging me on my yahoo, i didn't know who it was until i got a messege saying, "sarah, it's cevan". i was sooo happy. i messeged him back and we talked yesterday. and talked and talked online, and then on my phone when he called me. he misses me, he loves me, he wants to be with me. is there a problem? ahhh, yes....because:
add 1, 2, 3 plus #4-he married her(but we wants to leave her for me), #5-has a daughter now, #6 he's in iraq for another 9 months, #7-his family loves her and she's moving in with his sister in ohio.
so, i'm just not sane. this guy i want so much, i looked for him online for 6 months, he was looking for me for 3, well, we found each other to hit a brick wall. do i hold on? i don't think i should. he could promise me anything he wants, but he's half a world away. he could just be lonely. i just have noooo idea.
i hate this so freakin much.
Don't give up hope- you give so much of it to other people.
I love you.