How can I overcome this problem without therapy?

When I was younger, my father told me I was a moron because my school work wasn’t done after only 20 minutes.

He was a verbally abusive father and while he never hit me he did go after my two older half brothers

Fast forward a few years (2010-2011) my parents had been divorced for over a...
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6

I find it increasingly hard to ignore the fact that most people only need me when it’s convenient.

I am not to be taken lightly my asshole side is a side you don’t want to mess with. My villain arc will begin now

amorous:
same! that is why now I can give two shits what people want and need from me now. 🤷🏻‍♀️
reapercrm:
@amorous thanks. I just vent some times. I use music, cosplay, nerdy games and a lot things to keep my thoughts from turning. I don’t know why people think I am the bad guy when I realize they have only been using me.
12

I sit on the edge of the abyss and watch as the world turns from light to darkness.

I can not help but recite in my mind the horrors the have led us here

The last bit of my empathy pours out into the streets like a river.

In the end the solemnity is laughable and the darkness pierces my eyes

The animal they thought...
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7

So I haven’t been very active here recently.
the last two years have been rough ones.
Pandemic and all.

In May I took a spill at work dislocated my ankle and fractured my heel bone.

Not all bad found a couple of niche communities on TikTok. Cosplay and Kink mostly

7

The vastness of the grin

Is an illusion

My mind feeds upon itself

As I wear a paper smile

Don’t let the tears destroy it

Why do I need happy

I never receive it back

I wear the paper smile

To hide my imperfections

Tears flowing like Niagara Falls

Tearing on my paper smile

The world will never know

If I just keep the paper...
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7

So my birthday is upon me and this year is unique because I almost lost my father this year.

But at 35 and single just not sure if I am gonna find a lover( no just a sex thing) anytime soon. Working 40+ doesn’t help either

reapercrm:
Better shape then he was in April
10

Reapercrm Photography So I had my first shoot today for a local cover band pro bono of course as I am just starting out and my moms boyfriend is in the band

10

I just recently ordered a camera and gonna start my new hobby of photography.

I am not gonna expect to be the best. I will start lightly with natural images and maybe start doing full photo shoots if I am any good.

I am not advertising photography by me just excited to see how this adventure goes

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reapercrm:
Thanks @bookcouple appreciate it.
reapercrm:
My new camera arrived today
7

So the last 4 days of have been rough and super long. Sunday I receive a call my dad had at heart attack. After four days he has had 2 heart attacks and about 4-5 cardiac arrest events. He is still not breathing on his own and not sure if he is going to be able to just hard to distract my mind

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reapercrm:
Thanks @chroi and @naru_blu I appreciate it
kalani_:
My prayers & thoughts are with you & your loved ones. Hope he’s doing a lot better! I know this post is from the 10th. I’m very sorry to hear all that has happened :( ❤️🙏🏻
9

Here I sit still all alone

Nothing to show for my life

34 years old and single

Not where I thought I’d be

I can feel impending doom

Depression setting in

With little to hold on to

I just want hold my head high

Sadly it’s filled with lead