Last week my best friend told me that his wife asked for a divorce. This was right before Thanksgiving and our trip up to his dad's to go hunting. I felt weird because I had great news about me and the girl. We have exchanged keys. This is a big step for me I've always kept my "fortress of solatude" and only let people in...
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I think my boss was trying to pay me a compliment by saying "you haven't said anything completely vulgar and offensive in a while" to which I responded with "have you ever been eating a bitches ass out and it tastes like licking a 9 volt battery ". Watching your boss just melt and repeatedly say WOW was effing priceless.
I told the girl about...
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A friend asked me to check out his rifle for opening day. OK no problem more time at the range is always good with me. There was a reason that I got away from heavy recoil rifles, shooting them is fine I'm a big guy and my shoulder can take it unfortunately my brain really can't take as much anymore. An hour after I got...
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Neighbor: you're an asshole.
Me: Thanks for noticing.
Not sue what but don't are either.
The quickest way for me to waste all the romantic cache that I've built up is to say "hey babe I'm going hunting I'll see you Sunday".
I had a funny one, I sent the girl a single red rose to her at the office a week and a half ago. last night I was over at her place and she is just floating, I mean wow I've never seen her like this. this is awesome.
She pins me in the kitchen and tells me to stop sending her flowers at work...
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I'm one of the worst human beings when I get stressed at work especially over things that I can't control. I have a mean streak that I really don't like to show. The girl sent me this and it pretty much diffused me.
I just thought of this, I'm sending her a single red rose to her office tomorrow.
tokki:
This is definitely being saved to my phone
The company I work for is having a diversity day this Friday to celebrate the Diverse Backgrounds of the employees. I work for an engineering company in Pittsburgh, diversity is not something I've seen, you have people of either British extraction or central European extraction and occasionally a woman.
This is my observation.
They want us to bring in a dish representing our ethnic background,...
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Last night when I was out to dinner with the girl she goaded me into getting not just hot wings but the super nuclear meltdown ones. I don't really have a problem with them but I have a beard and there is no real way to wash my face effectively in a restaurant so the burn is going to be with me for a while....
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@missy @rambo
What made me feel old?
Reading through the local newspaper (that should be the first tip off) I saw an article with the name of an old co-workers daughter and she is now a senior in high school. I still remember holding her as an infant.