Tuesday Dec 14, 2004

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I make myself sick in every single way. I daydream about bleeding and cutting and hitting and screaming. I feel like i'm in fog and everyone else can see. I've taken fifty steps backwards and now i'm in a room that screams of fourteen year old crap. My haven. My prison. I feel like i'm rotting and turning hard xXx
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meelee:
Your eyes make me happy. smile
meelee:
You need to smile! biggrin Maybe not like that. But like this smile .

Monday Dec 13, 2004

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I just went outside for a midnight cigarette and there were birds tweeting. Not like just one renegade bird, but at least three. It's 12:30am. What is going on in this mad world? xXx
kristoph:
that actually sounds like the most perfect winter plan ever.
i wonder if i can book a season off of work?
i'd be on the next train
xXx
jaqueline_:
i heard that on sunday morning, a whole 5 or 6 birds having a very early morning conversation. brings a whole new meaning to the early bird gets the.

so where to now m'lady? and got some fings to tells you like. kiss

Monday Dec 13, 2004

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Well. Today I have been mainly doing nothing as usual. I went to the doctors to see the nurse so she can send me to a doctor so I can be sent to a specialist. How retarded. Such a bureauocracy. I came home and got back into my pyjama's. The only interesting things I have to say are that yesterday I got knocked over in...
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jaqueline_:
hooray!! i wuv woo!! you're fab fab fab fab fab, like lady penelope x
thelost:
all i can say is meet me in berlin when the crow sings and the porpoise rises high over the yard arm. come wearing a rose and carrying a turnip.

Sunday Dec 12, 2004

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It's so annoying how I can never manage to get the eyeliner off my lower eyelid. The top is fine, just the bottom. Anyone know of some industrial strength paint thinner that's suitable for use on sensitive skin?

Had much sleep last night. Went to the Midlands meet. Met Jaqueline who is totally lovely, and her very cigarette-generous friend H, who is also a very...
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meelee:
Trains are like satan. Or maybe Onix from Pokemon. Train conductors are Satan's minions, and the people in the ticket booths arnt real.



The weekend is long.


Meh.
kristoph:
well, my first idea is to get happy enough with my own body to not mind being photographed without me kecks.
after that i'm not too sure. i'm open to suggestions.
and red wine and a batman mask! red wine is one of my all time favourite things of all time ever.

i'm gonna spend my day today making you mail and checking out prices for (a) our trip to canada
and (2) my trip to birmingham for nye

i like having things to look forward to.
xXx

Saturday Dec 11, 2004

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Grrr ha ha. I'm so manky. I really need a shower. I have last nights make-up on still. Shoot me. I'm a filthy filthy bitch.

So last night was cool. The girls looked HOTT and the music was very complimentary. Company was ace as always! Enjoyed a good few Jack and diet cola's and slept relatively soundly.

Anyway. The numbers should be on so lets...
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kristoph:
*runs off to get a ring from one of them tacky plastic egg machine things*
..don't be surprised if i end up proposing with with an eraser though.
in canada.
hehe.
kiss
contraband:
sorry been out of town.......i dwell in cleveland ohio...drop me an address and i'll send some stuff ,,,hope all is well

Friday Dec 10, 2004

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Mother fuck. It's Friday. And the party is a go-go in just a few hours. I'm still concerned about my ability to drink, but i'll have to see how it goes. Look out for me Kristoph.

I've decided that i'm giving up on the girl. She clearly will never change and she's slowly breaking me. I need to have some self-respect.

My ex-boy came...
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jaqueline_:
can't wait to see you tomorrow hun. we'll party like there's no tomorrow okay? love you xxx

Thursday Dec 09, 2004

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Holy fuck. I feel so ill it's indescribable. I've not been online for a couple of days due to sleepover's at both my Grandma's and my friend Dawn's. The first went to plan, I had a roast dinner, talked to old g for a bit, told her that i've smoked for time, and proceeded to have a cigarette in her kitchen. Was going to sleep...
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insomniphobiac:
Would be nice. Money is a bit of a problem at the mo though. Maybe when i get my compo
agata:
biggrin yeah i mite meet jackie too, depending on what time in get into brum. If not, ill see you at subs kiss

Tuesday Dec 07, 2004

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My week is slipping away. Slept late again. My main achievement of today is showering and going outside for a cigarette. In other news, I printed off my withdrawal letter and put it in an envelope, and sorted out my refund on the cancelled t(i)nc gig. So I guess i've been relatively productive. I watched neighbours. The aftermath of the accidental lip-bump (for a more...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
jaqueline_:
do you have msn? email me and i'll add you. if not, send me contact mail anyway, and i'll get back to you viz that. kiss
meelee:
Do they have Neighbours in Montreal or Canada? If so,then yes, theres a fair chance i will move with you. If not... Then well no. But i will be your friend as you are fun and sparkley!

So, Neighbours today huh? Did ya see it!? Did you did you? Boyd got decked! aha! No, i shouldn't be so happy really, thats mean. But he's a crease and should let Lana go be gay. Heh.
Come drinking in Banbury tomorrow. It's pound a pint you know! smile tongue

I'm going to watch 'It's a Wonderful life' on dvd now. I'm cool like that.
biggrin
xx

Monday Dec 06, 2004

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In the dying stagest of the worlds longest headache. I realised that i'm unhappy wherever I am. Slept late. Walked around doing fuck all. Hid in the toilets of the Bullring and forced through a 10mm plug. Purposely missed a train home because I was about to light a cigarette and I have nothing to rush home for. Got the next train and she was...
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meelee:
I wanted to die with disapointment. All that hype, and then a violent face collision / head butt for 0.3 seconds which was the biggest anti climax since the excitement of the millenium wheel i experienced (what am i talking about, i'm just making things up! I havent even been on it!... see, the sheer disapointment is making me Lie aswell!). I don't pay my TV lisence for this... (well my parents don't pay their tv lisence for it technically). I'm outraged. I'm not sure what i was expecting, but maybe something a little more explicit!!!! I know it's Neighbours, and it's aired at 5.30, but please, theres more explicit content in 'My Parents are Aliens', which on the subject is brilliant. shocked
Well it's back to me reading 'skana' (hah, see what they did there?) fanfics and dreaming of a propper romance between the ramsay street queers i spose, and lusting after their gazing stares into each others eyes, and random hand holding for apparantly no reason. AND I'M TRYING TO BLANK THAT LAME EXCUSE FOR A KISS OUT OF MY MEMORY. I HAVENT BEEN SO UPSET SINCE I FOUND OUT STEPHANIE MCINTOSH WASNT ACTUALLY SKY MANGEL

Ok, i really need to get a life and move on. MOVE ON MEELEE.

Dammit. Oh good lord help me please.
xx

[Edited on Dec 06, 2004 5:47PM]

[Edited on Dec 06, 2004 5:51PM]
thelost:
i er, havn't actually started it yet. I have two days to do it in (including the 24 hour window) so that should be fun. Last night I went to sleep listening to the wacky Neural Noise Generator. It was pumping out out delta and theta waves over white noise, which are created by the brain during different parts of the sleep cycle. Very intense dreams. It has woken me up in a very good mood.
my favourite fruit has to be banana simply because it's the most versatile, if you don't eat dairy like me it's a great substitute for egg in cakes to make them raise. I'm not sure though because apples are great too, but I usually eat them until they give me a tummy ache. Pears are good but I'm not so keen on the skin but if you poach them they are yummy. umm definately banananas, or pears. or apples. perhaps clemantines. oranges are too annoying and painful but can be incredibly tasty.
aw i don't know, i just don't know.

Sunday Dec 05, 2004

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So. I've taken it back to the concrete streets of suburbia - and there are Christmas decorations up. I don't think I saw any houses in the centre of Bristol with decorations. It's like an alternate world. Just to clarify - it's not my house with decorations up, just a few in my road. My Mom (and I) hate when Christmas takes over November and...
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the_reverend:
tongue biggrin tongue biggrin tongue

i used to live very near solihull... god, its an awful place isnt it? and that hmv soooooo has the best music... not!
ahem.

yeah, going flat hunting tonight. woo hoo.

having fun yourself?

ARRR!!! x
the_reverend:
ps Tempest is one of the best record shops in the country! good luck! and if you get it - do i get discount? wink kiss

Saturday Dec 04, 2004

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Last post from Bristol xXx
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kristoph:
frown
but i will see you soon!
i am planning a special outift for friday. oh yes. you will be astounded!
i hope your first night back home was gravy.
i'm gonna miss you round these parts miss
xXx
tilly:
Will I be meeting you this Friday? I hope so! And I apologise in advance for the smallness of mine and Caz's flat! blush

kiss

Friday Dec 03, 2004

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And just when I think i'm stabilising this happens. I hate my fucking lack of self control. I make my self feel sick in every sense of the word. My skin crawls with disgust.

I was going to write about my last night in Bristol but I don't want to anymore. I want to drink lots of water in the morning and just go home....
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kristoph:
hey hun. you know you can talk to me about any of this right? i promise i will never get tired of listening.
i'll try my best to slow things down...like when superman ran round the earth backwards to save lois? kind of like that.
xXx
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