I have been a volunteer for Riley's children hospital for four years. I have posted of all the beautiful things that this has brought to me. My appreciation for the great work this hospital does, a cooking show, a cooking stream opportunity, all the friends and patients I have met. I have posted of my love if seeing these wagons out when I come in and what they mean and represent to me. I took this picture this morning and shared it with two friends and talked about how I love seeing these out when I come volunteer. It represents that another child has gone home and is healthy enough to get away from the trauma of the hospital. Today started beautiful. Then...

Part of what we do in my area is that we do what we call "zone to go" where rooms can call us and we deliver arts and crafts to children who can't leave their rooms. It's great to visit these kids and deliver a smoke and chance to forget that they are confined, even for a few minutes. I had a "zone to go".

I was at the elevators waiting to go up when a family walked up and waited with me. We made polite pleasantries and got on when the doors opened. We both were going to the same floor, 9. As we went up, the mother became more distraught and slid into her husband's arms. She buried her face in his chest and began to cry. Softly she said " I am not ready" and it hit me. Their baby wasn't going home. We got off together and they were going to the same wing I was. Their room was before my delivery and at the closed door, her legs gave out. I was there and help catch her with her husband. I tried to put my delivery down, but as she was steady, her husband politely thanked me e and said they were ok. I made my leave looking back as they went in. I dropped off the crafts and made my way out when I could hear the mother wail. My legs felt weak and I wanted to wait, but didn't want to be disrespectful to their grief. My heart breaks for that family.

This wagon is such a beautiful vessel for the children here. It represents hope and health. It represents movement when they are unable to move. I hope, if there is a heaven, that this baby has their opportunity to be pulled in a wagon and feel joy rather than the pain they have felt in the last moments of life.

Rest easy and pain free child. Our hearts will carry that grief with your family