I am stunned by the passing of the beautiful Robin Williams. When I see his picture come across the TV or scroll by on any social media I find that I have to fight back tears. As far back as I can remember, it was his comedy that stood out above anyone. A classically trained actor for the school of Julliard, he stormed the world of comedy melding the elegance of Shakespeare with the vulgarity of the court jester. I had the honor of seeing him twice and both times left the theater mesmerized by his shows. I have seen a number of comedians who are amazingly funny, but Robin Williams was in a class all his own. Where others had to work, and hone a craft, Robin did it as effortlessly as breath. His wit was sharp as a blade, his mind as keen. You never knew what he would say and you hung on to every word, every breath because you knew that it was special and you didn't want to miss a thing. My heart is devastated as if I have lost a family member. In every comedy show that I have seen him perform, I always felt like he was speaking only to me and that everyone else was lucky enough to be privy to our private conversation.
On the other side of my selfish grief, is that here was a man who had battled and battled his demon and addictions, only to find within himself that he could no longer fight. The biggest loss here is not mine, but that we as a world, lost someone whom made it a beautiful place despite the ugliness that is within it. That he was hurting so much that he took his own life is the largest tragedy of all. For all that he had given us, if I could have taken even a fraction of his pain away, I would have in a heart beat. The immortal is mortal. The most beautiful can also hide scars. And even a public god, can indeed bleed. The years that he battled depression and addiction can never be over scored and over looked. I am sure that this wasn't his first attempt, and I can say that from personal experience that once you look into that vast expanse, the void of pain of suicide, you can never fully close that door again. From all of his amazing performances, his incredible resume of art and film, a man who seemingly has everything, can indeed feel that they are worthy of nothing.
There is a love that I will always have for Robin Williams. Nothing will ever change that admiration of him. I hope that you rest n peace, feel no pain, and understand that you affected so many lives positively and in a way that can never be measured. I love you dear friend. If there is a heaven, then I hope that I am able to see you there someday.
If you feel that you are lost, then please seek help. 1-800-273-8255
