Self hate is a bitch

8

I can' keep doing this. I need to find a way to forget her. I need to find a way to move on. I need sleep. I need to stop thinking. How big of a POS am I to be thrown away so easily? Why am I never good enough? How am I so repulsive? I feel like Quasimodo. I feel like I am Cyrano,...
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pointman11:
@tali79tap I just wish I could turn the noise off in my head. And didn't think about her all the time. It' to the point that even at work I can slip into cruise control and let my mind wander 
tali79:
No matter what I'm doing or where I'm at I'm always thinking about her. 

So I did a thing... and strange and wonderful shit soon followed

5

This morning i had my check back with my doctor over my foot anf two things surprised us. 1. My foot is healing wonderfully so there is no longer talk that i will need the surgeon. There is tremendous marked improvement and besides being horribly scared, the worst is over. 2. Someone painted my toenails last night. Therevwas a look of surprise on both our...
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I failed. Very long blog

6

Tonight was the first night working with Stefany again after her not speaking to me the last three weeks out on medical leave over my scalded foot. Stefany and I had a thing. She brought me out of my shell that I built around myself. It all started with her asking me about my opinion on American Gods that I was reading. We began to...
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user8992:
I think that sometimes life especially with lust can happen very fast especially when a void is being fulfilled. Then often times reality hits. That person realizes what they have done and perhaps she's not in a position where she should have etc.. or went to far and didn't mean too. In no circumstance do I see this as you failing sweetheart. Besides you have your own to sort as well. I've had things come up and many moments as you know where I so badly wanted someone to save me.. help me.. heal me but truth be told I didn't start getting better until I started to deal with myself and realized only I can be the one to save myself. There is no failure just moments in life that challenge us to do better or make changes so we feel better. Once we start on ourselves we can then be better for others or attract better.. the universe doesn't give you what you want it gives you things that you need because it's pushing you to be the person it knows you can be. But we can't let good or new things in until we deal or let go of the old things. You are your ticket to success and happy. The shitty part is I know we both had major struggles from the time we were little. We have to work extremely hard just to be where some others comfortable just are. This doesn't make them successful our levels are all based on our own experience. Fill your social media feeds full of things you love and help you feel good. Surround yourself when you can and practice kind speech to yourself especially. You are what you feed your mind hun. Be wary of your words because you are far more wonderful then you allow yourself to be. If things don't work out with someone it does suck but that means there's something else there. Sending big hugs and much love & light 💚
lornasharp:
I'm sorry you had some difficult times too, but I believe it can go better with time don't you think ? Thanks for your support by the way (and yes he meant emotionally ^^)
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