My mind is racing. It just wont stay still. In an out of dark recesses hiding what i feel. The light is turned off. It might have burnt out. I can learn to live in the dark but i prefer to let it shout. Standing up to it is like getting in the ring for a 12 round title bout. It is not quiet, no not at all. It's screaming, yelling and shouting, whispering, manipulating, and pouting. So many thoughts, i can't see them all. I hope i don't stumble, trip and fall...
This is what it's like when i'm sober. I have learned to accept it and still it grows colder. The older i get the bolder it hits. The smoldering fits turn into tar pits. I gotta get to the other side. So many past things still reside. It's ok, i am not one to hide. Even if the feelings i feel make me want to die. I'll never give up, i'm just that type of guy.
I know its the "depression" i was born with. That's why in each session i dont reject it, i adore it. It's a part of me that's live and i show it. It's why i dont have a wife, yet, accept the lore of it. It's why i have no life, im bored of it. It's why i get high when i want no more of it. It's why i get up in life, and shoot my self down with a lie. That's the core of it.
