i am not having a good weekend. since i've started working i haven't had a good weekend yet. it seems all i do is sit around bored out of my mind waiting for monday to come and hoping it somehow doesn't. i'm in a very depressed state of mind right now. life feels like an endless cycle of work and boredom. i am extremely lonely. i want a girlfriend but i don't even know where or how to meet anybody. i have no hope of ever getting better right now.
my friendships are all falling apart at the seams too. i feel like i don't have that strong a connection with a lot of my friends. i feel like we have such different interests. i am confused about what to do. one day i think i should stay friends and the next i think it's not worth it.
why is life full of so much pain and suffering? i am not just talking about physical pain, but mental pain. when i was a child, i was generally pretty happy. of course there were times that i was unhappy, but they were in the minority. now that i'm grown it seems like it's reversed. i am generally unhappy interspersed with short periods of happiness. and i don't think it's only me too. it seems like most adults are like constantly trying to fill a big gaping hole thats right in the middle of their heart and souls. and that hole needs to constantly have dirt shoveled on it or else it will sink in. my point is, what is wrong with our society, and why can't we be happy without constant attention.
i realized something the other day while watching my bird. my bird has a bell in his cage, and a toy stuffed frog on top of his cage. he's basically almost always preoccupied playing with/feeding one or the other. if you take them away he basically goes crazy. he doesn't know what to do with himself. and i realized that i'm almost the same way. i have all this crap in my house... tv's, computers, video games, music, guitars, books, etc... and i'm almost always preoccupied with one of them. it's like i go crazy if i have nothing to do. why do i always have to have something to do? why can't i just exist and be happy?
my friendships are all falling apart at the seams too. i feel like i don't have that strong a connection with a lot of my friends. i feel like we have such different interests. i am confused about what to do. one day i think i should stay friends and the next i think it's not worth it.
why is life full of so much pain and suffering? i am not just talking about physical pain, but mental pain. when i was a child, i was generally pretty happy. of course there were times that i was unhappy, but they were in the minority. now that i'm grown it seems like it's reversed. i am generally unhappy interspersed with short periods of happiness. and i don't think it's only me too. it seems like most adults are like constantly trying to fill a big gaping hole thats right in the middle of their heart and souls. and that hole needs to constantly have dirt shoveled on it or else it will sink in. my point is, what is wrong with our society, and why can't we be happy without constant attention.
i realized something the other day while watching my bird. my bird has a bell in his cage, and a toy stuffed frog on top of his cage. he's basically almost always preoccupied playing with/feeding one or the other. if you take them away he basically goes crazy. he doesn't know what to do with himself. and i realized that i'm almost the same way. i have all this crap in my house... tv's, computers, video games, music, guitars, books, etc... and i'm almost always preoccupied with one of them. it's like i go crazy if i have nothing to do. why do i always have to have something to do? why can't i just exist and be happy?
sicily:
hmmm...i think monotony leads to insanity. maybe you should dress up like your bird, attach a bell to your head, and arrive at work only speaking in chirps. you might get fired, but it will be very amusing 
fringes:
Existence, like a plant that only requires watering? Nah! Yould end up like your pet bird ! 'Mindless' from lack of mental stimulation. Hey guy you need a diversion to distract you from your self destructive defeatist attitude! A hobby, a cause, a charity ,a murder spree..oops how did that get in there! 