oldham

So i'm walking Daisy--she's a deaf pitbull with serious behavior issues who doesn't like you and wants to eat you, and all of a sudden she's trying to go into this back dark stairwell (this is on the upper west side) and there's this dropdead break your pelvis type woman chilling in the dark smoking. Blonde. She and i get to talking because i'm from down south and don't have this asshole-new-york-i-can't-do-anything-but-sneer attitude and before too long i'm trying to talk her into adopting one of the 8-gazillion cats we have at the hospital, not because i'm nice, because i'm not, but because if she adopts one i don't have to clean up after it. Then it clicks--it's that Jenna Elfman lady from that crappy Ed Norton movie (my boss said she's on some tv show too).

And i didn't even know, and she's totally jocking my shit, she's coming by tomorrow to hang.

And i'm still waiting on my doucebag of an ex to make her regular "i miss you,think about you everyday, need you love you, we're still broken up but let's fuck" call.

goddamn weasels, everywhere i tell you.