Sick, sick, sick.
Oy vey, let me explain what's been up.
I've been sick since Saturday (see March 19th post) and I'm getting worse, or at least not getting better. I did go through with my Saturday plans, and afterward I went to a party with my friend (you could call her my date, but I won't). She had to leave @ 1:30, but before she did I had to tell her something. She pretty much knows how I feel about her, but I put it into words anyway and asked her what we should do about that.
Her response was that she doesn't know me. I didn't expect that, but then again, she was right. She suggested we go to a museum, spend a day together to get to know each other. That was unexpected. I'm used to rejection; I'm the guy who was into girls since he was old enough to compliment them, so I'm no stranger to being let down, from awkward "I don't know" responses, to really, really, REALLY insensitive ones. I was called crazy by the girl I asked out in the eighth for even thinking of asking her out.
But my friend's answer was refreshing. It seemingly guarantees me at least one date with her, and it indicates that she probably likes me at least a little if she actually desires to learn more about me. I got her a drink for the road, then she gave me a kiss in the cheek, a hug, and she was gone.
When I woke up on Sunday I was sick. The next day I was sicker, so I skipped work and went to the doctor. She said nothing was infected, so I figured that a note excusing the one day would be enough. She seems to think it's allergies, but I doubt that. I've never been allergic to anything present in nature. But she could be right; people can become allergic to new things at any time, right?
So, off to work on Tuesday. I called my boss and asked him if I should come in; my alarm cut out (it does that sometimes, which is not at all good) so I was running late anyway. He said it was up to me, so I ultimately decided to go in. That was a very poor decision. A few of the staff members and most of the kids in the class I work with avoided me like the plague, and on the insistence of a few co-workers, I left. I didn't go in today either, although a substitute should have filled in for me today.
Here's the bad part, though: I used up all my sick days, so each day I'm out, regardless of whether or not I have a note, I'm losing money. It is irrelevant whether or not I'm able to function well; if I'm not on disability or I didn't get injured on the job, I have to eat up sick days. This is especially bad, because NYC is probably going to have to lay off teachers and the like, and the guy who's sick all the time isn't exactly an asset. So, I reiterate: oy vey.
... Oh right, I promised you a poem. Read and discuss:
infamy
when I was inside you I felt infamous
everything we did and said would be held against us in a court of law
but I needed a kitten
someone who wanted me to scratch
to poke to bite to explore
to love with a love that was not quite love
but so much much much more
when the battle was over and the blood on my nose caked up and scabbed
and the fucked up powder finally took its absolutionary effect
I felt like I knew Jesus at that instant that despite my Jewness
he was fingering my ass and testing me to see if Im as gay as he wants his
ambassadors to be
he was disappointed and i was violated and nine months later i had an immaculate
bowel movement
and though I ate not I passed out the fetus of the second coming
miscarried and flushed away never to feel what it feels like to live and die
for our sins
absolution means get me a wafer and a drink praise the lord and pass the ammunition and these days we stone the wicked and the righteous and their swiss bank accounts
get VIP access to havens Ive only dreamed of
while the meek inherit the spurned and dubious earth bereft of feeling or feeling at all
Oy vey, let me explain what's been up.
I've been sick since Saturday (see March 19th post) and I'm getting worse, or at least not getting better. I did go through with my Saturday plans, and afterward I went to a party with my friend (you could call her my date, but I won't). She had to leave @ 1:30, but before she did I had to tell her something. She pretty much knows how I feel about her, but I put it into words anyway and asked her what we should do about that.
Her response was that she doesn't know me. I didn't expect that, but then again, she was right. She suggested we go to a museum, spend a day together to get to know each other. That was unexpected. I'm used to rejection; I'm the guy who was into girls since he was old enough to compliment them, so I'm no stranger to being let down, from awkward "I don't know" responses, to really, really, REALLY insensitive ones. I was called crazy by the girl I asked out in the eighth for even thinking of asking her out.
But my friend's answer was refreshing. It seemingly guarantees me at least one date with her, and it indicates that she probably likes me at least a little if she actually desires to learn more about me. I got her a drink for the road, then she gave me a kiss in the cheek, a hug, and she was gone.
When I woke up on Sunday I was sick. The next day I was sicker, so I skipped work and went to the doctor. She said nothing was infected, so I figured that a note excusing the one day would be enough. She seems to think it's allergies, but I doubt that. I've never been allergic to anything present in nature. But she could be right; people can become allergic to new things at any time, right?
So, off to work on Tuesday. I called my boss and asked him if I should come in; my alarm cut out (it does that sometimes, which is not at all good) so I was running late anyway. He said it was up to me, so I ultimately decided to go in. That was a very poor decision. A few of the staff members and most of the kids in the class I work with avoided me like the plague, and on the insistence of a few co-workers, I left. I didn't go in today either, although a substitute should have filled in for me today.
Here's the bad part, though: I used up all my sick days, so each day I'm out, regardless of whether or not I have a note, I'm losing money. It is irrelevant whether or not I'm able to function well; if I'm not on disability or I didn't get injured on the job, I have to eat up sick days. This is especially bad, because NYC is probably going to have to lay off teachers and the like, and the guy who's sick all the time isn't exactly an asset. So, I reiterate: oy vey.
... Oh right, I promised you a poem. Read and discuss:
infamy
when I was inside you I felt infamous
everything we did and said would be held against us in a court of law
but I needed a kitten
someone who wanted me to scratch
to poke to bite to explore
to love with a love that was not quite love
but so much much much more
when the battle was over and the blood on my nose caked up and scabbed
and the fucked up powder finally took its absolutionary effect
I felt like I knew Jesus at that instant that despite my Jewness
he was fingering my ass and testing me to see if Im as gay as he wants his
ambassadors to be
he was disappointed and i was violated and nine months later i had an immaculate
bowel movement
and though I ate not I passed out the fetus of the second coming
miscarried and flushed away never to feel what it feels like to live and die
for our sins
absolution means get me a wafer and a drink praise the lord and pass the ammunition and these days we stone the wicked and the righteous and their swiss bank accounts
get VIP access to havens Ive only dreamed of
while the meek inherit the spurned and dubious earth bereft of feeling or feeling at all
suispud1:
I don't know where Kilroy came from originally, but my dad used to say it all the time.
nycstreetpoet:
There's a Tennessee Williams play called "Camino Real" and one of the characters is named Kilroy. He's a pretty ridiculous character, you should read the play.