ncdiamondjim

Still have to wait for final paperwork, but the divorce is finally done. Has taken 2 years, 3 months since she walked out that door. Wouldn't try to talk it out, wanted no part of the effort to fix things. Yet, every time it got close to being done, she found another way to stall it. Go figure.
I now find myself with a crazy mix of emotions:
Anger at her and both lawyers for dragging this out needlessly & expensively.
Sadness that someone I once loved so much has changed so much, and that she saw me & our marriage as unworthy of her effort. I'm a fixer, not a runner, but it takes 2 to make the problems, 2 to fix them.
Relief that it is finally over. It is the end of a chapter in life, but that is only the beginning of a new chapter.
And that perpetual optimist inside of me, the part that has been beaten down for so long, can now come up to the surface once again. Somewhere out there is a lady who can appreciate me, want me, accept me for who & what I am, and all she'll ask in return is the same.
So, it is time to set aside the sadness, anger and stress that has owned my soul for too long. Time to rediscover the simple joys of being alive, hoping to soon rediscover the joys of loving & being in love.