mrsted_stryker

THOSE DAMN GREMLINS ATE MY WHOLE POST!!! I POURED MY FUCKING HEART OUT IN THAT...
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

I guess it pretty much said this:

rsabatino if you read this please know that I have been trying to send you a message for 3 days! Gremlins are on my ass...I am sorry..I am NOT ignoring you I promise! Try sending me a PM so I can respond...I cant even click on send a message on your page...I dont know whats going on...

I am so happy. I seem to always be smiling...when not at work...and I am sleeping like an angel. I usually have night mares but lately not so much.
As much as I hate this city and my current situation (with my mom and my health...and desperately trying to save to move) I am really quite happy.
Honestly I kinda feel like someone has given me a boost of serotonin. No I am not manic OR on drugs..I just feel happy. Like the bad will work out. Like all the stress I deal with and others deal with will work out. Maybe not exactly the way we want...but in the end...as long as we had ONE beautiful moment to look back on...it was worth it.
I guess thats all we can hope for. That ONCE in our lives we have that one moment. Those few precious seconds, minutes, hours, or days where we feel complete because of the beauty all around us. I DO believe that moment is destined for all of us. That every person gets one...maybe the lucky ones get more...but all I need is one. That one moment will last me a lifetime. When things are rough and I am scared or sad I can remember that time and know that it will be ok...because i have that feeling to count on.
Maybe I am being naive. Maybe I am being stupid. I really dont care.
I look forward to realizing someday, when I am doing something, or with someone, that that moment is NOW.

Here is that Video I promised...I have been listening to it nonstop...dont know what...just helps me to look toward the future with an open heart i guess....



and I decided to leave you with a picture too...this one made me giggle and almost cry...I dont know...I hope I am making someones New Year a little sweeter...



have a great night...sorry I rambled so much...

Pisces

OH and i wanted to add...although it IS very sad what happened to Heath Ledger...I feel so much more grief for the child he left behind. He made a choice to do drugs...and unfortunately paid the price...but his child did not make the choice to loose her daddy...
So I am sending out well wishes for his FAMILY...I know the pain of loosing someone and am sad at your loss....