I know I just posted last night at like 3 in the morning but I had a major update so I wanted to share right away!
I went ahead and put last nights entry in spoilers because I still feel very strongly about what happened and I reread my posts to gain better perspective.
But I digress...on to my ASTOUNDING news!
I have been posting for a few days that I want this...
Well I added it to my wish list yesterday (with the help of SEVERAL Geezer chat members...thanks guys!) and than last night I went to add something else and it disappeared from the list! I was actually kinda salty about it because we spent all day trying to figure out if the bike that they had in stock would fit me! I didnt know it went to the PURCHASED page! DUH.
so I get online in the middle of the night and post a very poopy blog...sorry...but its how I feel..or er felt...whatever
and today when I log on my wonderful friend
Tunnel_Vision had left comments on my blog. No not about the bog.
So than what you ask?
Ya he gave me clues as to why the bike was gone from my wish list!
HE BOUGHT ME THAT DAMN BIKE!!!
I am so excited I just KNOW a little pee came out!
I dont know what it is with that bike really. Just that when I saw it I felt young...and free...like I had the whole world ahead of me. Ya ya ya I know what your thinking...mid life crisis. Maybe..but I dont think so.
I got diabetes at a very young age. I never felt like I could just be a kid. I had to grow up fast to take care of my health. Now I am in my 30s and i am rebelling. I WANT to be young...or at least act young. This bike is a great outlet for me.
Plus I think
AcidStorm thinks I need exercise!
Either way why does one NEED a Hello Kitty Cruiser you ask? And whats the big deal with Hello Kitty anyway?
1. SOOO cute. Hello Kitty makes me feel like I am 12...makes me happy.
2. WHO CARES??
One does NOT NEED a Hello Kitty bike....but sometimes things that are good FOR THE SOUL can do wonders for ones health!!
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
sigh I cant sleep.
I know its the not smoking and the issue with my friend (patience...I will spoiler it) but it is irritating nonetheless.
Before I go into my blog further I really need to let you know about someone.
Dick Starr is one of my friends. I always look forward to his blogs because he really is a wonderful artist!
Well tonight I couldn't sleep and I came on sg and was reading my comments (Merry Xmas Tunnel? wtf?
) and when I went to his page I clicked on a link that took me to more art.
I must have laughed for a good 15 minutes! I am so amazed at his work that I really want you to go look. You can even vote! No not for him...its a fun contest tho!!
so
go here to see his art! I promise you wont be disappointed!!!
so on to why I cant sleep...
[spoiler]
This quitting smoking thing has me nuts! I cant concentrate...and I am SO damn emotional!
I kinda feel like all of this...
its weird that I am staying so strong tho. I WILL NOT smoke! It is gonna be harder when I go back to work but I know if I can do this than I can do anything!
so for now I will stay..
and for the record i have always loved the LOL kitty but I was going thru my pictures I have saved on my computer and I have like 100 of them or some crap. Well not 100 but you know what I mean...so I think I am gonna use all LOL kitty for this one...well TRY to at least...so please bare with me...
oh so I was gonna tell you a story about my friend...can you spoiler inside a spoiler? I dont know so I will just end this one and start another..
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
so me and this girl...who shall remain nameless and is no longer on the site...have been friends for about 8 months or so. We met here and she lives here (we will be calling her...GIRL for this story) and we became friends right away. We had both wanted to go see Manson when he was here but I couldn't afford it. She said we could work out a trade. She would buy the tickets and I would give her CHEAP stuff from work. I gave her a total of about $400 in stuff for ONE Manson ticket...which I never got. But I was actually not super mad and just told myself never to do anything like that again and thought lesson learned.
So for my last set I shot I borrowed some pillows. After I used them I double bagged them and put them at the top of my closet until I could get them back to her. Well my ex got that dog and somehow (puppies can do ANYTHING I swear!) the pillows fell while I was at work and puppy chewed up said pillows! I freaked out and started yelling and the ex told me he would help me pay for them. Then moved out 2 days later! I called GIRL up and was crying and told her what happened and she told me not to worry about it. I told her I would pay for them and she said dont worry. I said well at least let me put some money aside and take you shopping. She said take your time its really no big deal. So I have been putting money aside and me and her have been friends and have even hung out a few times. All the sudden last week she tells my boss (they are friends) that she is not wanting to talk to me. I try to call her to ask why but she doesnt answer and sends me a txt telling me she is too busy to speak to me. So I give her a few days and send he a message on myspace. She doesnt reply. TODAY she deleted me as a friend on there and than tonight posted a blog and specifically mentioned how if someone borrows something and than LETS their dog chew it up that is disrespectful. and if you disrespect the thing you borrowed than you disrespect the person!
I sent her a message basically saying WTF but in a very nice manner. Maybe she is going thru something rough. Maybe she is mad because she read that I am going to Canada and doesnt think I should live my life until I pay for her fucking pillows. Either way she wasnt mad at me 2 weeks ago when I got her in for free to the show I was working! I dont know. I guess I thought that since she was older than ME she would act like a grown up and TELL me that something was wrong. Instead she blogs about it and erases me from MySpace?? seriously. GROW THE FUCK UP.
ok now back to my regularly scheduled spoilering...
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
So all that has me feeling very
and I know any moment you are all going to tell me
but what I really need is someone to do THIS for me...
some of this would be nice...
or maybe jsut do something like this..
either way running away isn't the answer...
I dont know. I just feel like I TRY to be a good person. I am not perfect no. But when I DO mess up I am treated like I have killed their dog.
I dont know why its OK for ppl to be mean to ME, let ME down, push ME around but when I either push back, run away, or screw up a tiny bit all hell breaks loose. I am so tired. I spoke to Jake tonight and I really just want to push everyone away. Everyone IRL that is. Maybe I should just not ever have any expectations. That was I will always be surprised and never let down. Keep ppl at an arms distance. Let them in enough to be friends but not close enough to get hurt.
sigh
I feel like this all the time...
except I am the dog.
I really shouldn't be whining. I have a fun job. 1 or 2 great friends here. The geezers group. and I am not going hungry or dying. Life could be much worse. I have been told that many times in my life. That I shouldn't bitch because someone always has it worse than me.
I guess I am a bad person. I dont think about the other guy very much do I?
I guess this is me...
So ya...that was one long bitch fest. I am sooooo sorry to whoever read that whole thing.
I know when you read something like that you feel the need to tell that person what a great person they are. But let me ask you this. Have you ever FELT this way? And dont you think that the main person I was bitching about said nice things to me in the beginning?
Think about it before you respond with the generic "your a great person. Don't worry!"
I love you all...you all have been very supportive over the last year that I have been here. Thank you. I am sorry these last few months have been so bad. I am hoping that 2008 just STARTED OFF bad and at the end of it I will be able to look back and say "wow..that was one great year!"
I need some sleep. It took me far too long to write this...wonder why that was...hmmm...
Have a great day....
Pisces
oh and remember this??
I want I want I want!! Still no idea why...but I dreamt last night I was riding it to work! I think its so damn cute and hey...dont ya think I would look cute on it???
[/SPOILER]
Thank you Tunnel_Vision.
You are really a wonderful person. I guess I CAN say now that I DO know the "real" you. Or the YOU on the inside.
I can never again say that no one has ever done anything like this before because you were the first. You will always have a place in my heart my friend.
Thank you again.
I CANT BELIEVE YOU BOUGHT ME THAT BIKE!!!!!!!
Pisces
and your friend needs to grow up a lil, i mean we arent 13 anymore. we are grown up adults, she needs to act like one and stop playing childish games! all that does is cause drama!!!
I is confused - on my MySG page there's a whole 'nother journal entry.
But the other one I saw is about the bike and all that, too, so I dunno which is current. Here on the 4th floor I can't just have people run outside where there's WiFi hotspots and keep coming back, so hopefully this one is the recent one and you'll see this. 'Cause these exes and friends visiting might not keep going up and down the elevator and going to REPLY pages and stuff like that TOO much longer. So, hope you get this!
If not, oh well. I know I'm glad to see you journaling and that bike is quite cool
I know it'll take awhile, but you seem to be recovering, so just hope you get this and know I'm pulling for you.