OK I cant sleep and I am mad. 
When I try to do a good thing and I feel like I am helping someone it blows up in my face! For all my friends, I am sorry. I am not sure i can do this online thing anymore. I know I have made some great friends and that makes me happy. But these past couple of weeks have been very hard on me here. A LOT is going on and I just cant do it anymore. My health is shakey as always. I have diabetes and my bloodsugar goes up FAST! Expecially with stress. I take a lot to heart so I am stressed easily. Plus I feed on ppls emotions so when ppl are upset, I feel upset. This has caused constant struggle my whole life. My health is barely holding on. I have set a personal record and have not been hospitalized for Diabetes in 2 years!! But honestly ppl my health is slowly taking a nose dive. I have kept quiet (even from my best friend and boy is she gonna kill me for posting here and not telling her first) but its part of the reason I am taking a break. I have so much on my plate now that I just cant deal with SG right now. I am not saying I am not still shooting my set next month because health willing I am gonna go pink!! But as for my groups? I just cant. I am not comfortable in most of them because everyone already knows each other and I feel like I am struggling to keep up all the time. as for my blogs? Not so much for awhile....and all my PMs?? well please dont be offended if it takes me a little while to respond. I think I need this break to take care of myself.
Now, I know I am very close to some of you. I am sorry for not telling you i am sick. Ppl treat you differently when they find out. I saw it tonight. Someone finds out you are sick and they put on the breaks. This is why I havent been honest. I am still me. I have health issues and I cant hide it any longer. It is who I am and hiding it is making it worse. Some of you know me WELL....I have met several of you and never said anything when my bloodsugar was HIGH or I was in pain. Dont feel bad, even my best friend doesnt know whas going on. I love her too much to tell her!
Now I know your first response is going to be to call or txt me when you read this. Please dont. I KNOW who supports me and that if I need anything I will call. There is nothing you can do. And please dont fret...I WILL return. When I am stronger and able to cope with my body. Sometimes it just gets very hard...and I need to swim away and chill alone in shallow water.
I am sorry for anyone who reads this....it sucks being sick and it sucks even worse ppl treating you like you are broken. For the handfull of you that KNOW me......I am sorry I lied about being healthy. I didnt want to be treated like a leper...it has happened before.
Love ya all and I will be back soon!
Amy
When I try to do a good thing and I feel like I am helping someone it blows up in my face! For all my friends, I am sorry. I am not sure i can do this online thing anymore. I know I have made some great friends and that makes me happy. But these past couple of weeks have been very hard on me here. A LOT is going on and I just cant do it anymore. My health is shakey as always. I have diabetes and my bloodsugar goes up FAST! Expecially with stress. I take a lot to heart so I am stressed easily. Plus I feed on ppls emotions so when ppl are upset, I feel upset. This has caused constant struggle my whole life. My health is barely holding on. I have set a personal record and have not been hospitalized for Diabetes in 2 years!! But honestly ppl my health is slowly taking a nose dive. I have kept quiet (even from my best friend and boy is she gonna kill me for posting here and not telling her first) but its part of the reason I am taking a break. I have so much on my plate now that I just cant deal with SG right now. I am not saying I am not still shooting my set next month because health willing I am gonna go pink!! But as for my groups? I just cant. I am not comfortable in most of them because everyone already knows each other and I feel like I am struggling to keep up all the time. as for my blogs? Not so much for awhile....and all my PMs?? well please dont be offended if it takes me a little while to respond. I think I need this break to take care of myself.
Now, I know I am very close to some of you. I am sorry for not telling you i am sick. Ppl treat you differently when they find out. I saw it tonight. Someone finds out you are sick and they put on the breaks. This is why I havent been honest. I am still me. I have health issues and I cant hide it any longer. It is who I am and hiding it is making it worse. Some of you know me WELL....I have met several of you and never said anything when my bloodsugar was HIGH or I was in pain. Dont feel bad, even my best friend doesnt know whas going on. I love her too much to tell her!
Now I know your first response is going to be to call or txt me when you read this. Please dont. I KNOW who supports me and that if I need anything I will call. There is nothing you can do. And please dont fret...I WILL return. When I am stronger and able to cope with my body. Sometimes it just gets very hard...and I need to swim away and chill alone in shallow water.
I am sorry for anyone who reads this....it sucks being sick and it sucks even worse ppl treating you like you are broken. For the handfull of you that KNOW me......I am sorry I lied about being healthy. I didnt want to be treated like a leper...it has happened before.
Love ya all and I will be back soon!
Amy
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
kamuela:
I'm prayin for ya girl. Take all the time you need, we'll be waitin for ya. You now how to get a hold of me so i'll leave it at that. 
teddy__kgb:
having been with a diabetic for four years, i know all i can say is 'mind your numbers, take naps when you need to, and call me if you need some food'...i hope you feel better, taking naps is key if youre not sleeping well. 
