I have been waiting for a year and a half to get a decision on this brain tumor.
Well' tomorrow is the day.....
I see the ENT in Jacksonville about this tumor. A few have asked, and to put it in to perspective, you had something the size of a regular chocolate M&M growing inside your brain on a nerve sheath. Now less than a year and a half later you find that this tumor is now the size of a peanut M&M and is now pushing in to the area where your cerebellum is. This has doubled in size, and for a type of tumor known to only grow .66-1.2mm in a year, yours has surpassed this growth rate gaining 5.5mm in 18 months. it is now 1.2cm, the size of a plump blueberry. For perspective, in about 6 more months it will grow another 2mm, at this rate it is now growing at 3.5x the normal rate for this type of cancer. That doesn't seem significant I am sure, but I hope that tomorrows conclusion will be removal before it gets even bigger. There should be nothing foreign growing in a brain, and something this "small" can cause such a significant impact. it affects my cognition, my moods, my pain levels, my vision, my hearing and causes facial spasms and disturbances in my balance. I see this surgeon tomorrow afternoon to see what the plan is. I am nervous. No, actually, I am terrified. I would be lying to say I am less, but I have managed to keep it together. The longer this stays in me, the bigger it is getting. I'm trying to look at this objectively and I would be lying if I said I was able to every moment of the day. I just wanted to share my fear you all and let you all know that if this ever happens to you, its OK to be scared, its normal.
Feeling scared if about as normal as I can feel right now.
Wish me luck....
Love you guys
<3
