meh. thats what i feel like today. i hate verything about my life right now. and i am for the first time ever so perplexed as to how i can possibly change it. i mean wtf. i just really donno what to do.
(no offense because some of you are on here) but i am so sick of my friends sometimes. i just need a change. and i feel like i am fighting so hard even tho hes already left me emotionally(so obvious) for lee to not leave me. i feel really lost
but its already said and done. i cant change his mind or beg him anymore. its just not going anywhere. i just dont get how you can love someone so much and just leave them in the dust. i guess that isnt love then. meh
oh and i hate my job. im tired of doing the same mind numbingly retarded shit day after day. she tells me i am good and i am doing good one day then the next im getting chided because im not doing good enuff. i mean what is it? im sorry i am not happy working this silly pointless job. i plan on doing something other than having a fmaily with some dude who i think loves me and working a job that barely affords me gas and groceries because its really the best i can do....i just cant be that person. im too smart and too motivated to be that pathetic. but i need to work so i can get through school...but i think it might be high time i just looked elswhere for work.
bleh. im trying to complain and be productive about it. was i successful? prolly not either way i am going to see about a different job i cannot let her guilt me into this management position because they simply dont have anyone else. i just dont want it. i dont want to get comfortable doing stupid shit for forever. besides 40 cents more and hour to do 6times as much work just isnt enuff incentive to make me pretend i care. and i dont want to have to constantly pick up the slack for the buncha dumbasses that she tends to hire. i do that enuff as it is and i am just a regular employee. fuck me sideways....meh
i need to get the fuck out of this bullshit town.
on a lighter note i got signed up for a class(only one i had to pay outta pocket and photography is expensive) and i am really excited to start it. but thats all that was good today
<3's
(no offense because some of you are on here) but i am so sick of my friends sometimes. i just need a change. and i feel like i am fighting so hard even tho hes already left me emotionally(so obvious) for lee to not leave me. i feel really lost
but its already said and done. i cant change his mind or beg him anymore. its just not going anywhere. i just dont get how you can love someone so much and just leave them in the dust. i guess that isnt love then. mehoh and i hate my job. im tired of doing the same mind numbingly retarded shit day after day. she tells me i am good and i am doing good one day then the next im getting chided because im not doing good enuff. i mean what is it? im sorry i am not happy working this silly pointless job. i plan on doing something other than having a fmaily with some dude who i think loves me and working a job that barely affords me gas and groceries because its really the best i can do....i just cant be that person. im too smart and too motivated to be that pathetic. but i need to work so i can get through school...but i think it might be high time i just looked elswhere for work.
bleh. im trying to complain and be productive about it. was i successful? prolly not
either way i am going to see about a different job i cannot let her guilt me into this management position because they simply dont have anyone else. i just dont want it. i dont want to get comfortable doing stupid shit for forever. besides 40 cents more and hour to do 6times as much work just isnt enuff incentive to make me pretend i care. and i dont want to have to constantly pick up the slack for the buncha dumbasses that she tends to hire. i do that enuff as it is and i am just a regular employee. fuck me sideways....mehi need to get the fuck out of this bullshit town.
on a lighter note i got signed up for a class(only one i had to pay outta pocket and photography is expensive) and i am really excited to start it. but thats all that was good today
<3's