( Reposted in case the thread that this was originally on gets taken down )

Follow Uncle Mojo's guide to reclaiming your testosterone. Grow balls as big as pineapples just by following these simple steps.

1. Remember not to sit down when you piss.

2. Become glorious Alpha Male.

3. Get leg stuck in trap.

4. Gnaw own leg off & staunch bleeding.

5. Spray pheromones in a vast arc across your front lawn ( As featured in the GIF. That badass pug knows how to get the ladies. )

6. Wait for mate.

7. Have hibbity jibbity with sexy Alpha Lady.

8. Go for a wee and forget about not sitting down.

9. Pull yourself up out of the toilet because you didn't put the seat down first.

10. Bask in your ascension to Alpha Male status. Clean off the wee, then bask some more. Alpha Male status is all about the basking.