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missdevhill

Riverside, CA

Member Since 2013

Followers 1242 Following 3721

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Unsatisfied, still.

May 6, 2018
16
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....lots of questions & no answers.

Why can't I just be happy & in love with something already? Wabisabi imperfections have always been the best.

It never used to be this difficult before.... Before what, though? I never used to have such standards. I all but have blinders on now and I still can't focus.

Fixated on perfection, as I seek a balance between work, homelife & social acceptance... I understand that I will never be socially accepted and I've learned that don't like to go out, unless it's for work.

I don't want to cry. I dont want to be weak. What I'm doing isn't working for me & I dont know how to do any different.

I want his hand to touch me...his arm around me. I want to hear his heart beating...I want to know what it sounds like when he's breathing under various circumstances (normal/relaxed/excited) but I don't even know who HE is :(

... I'm frustrated (& stating the obvious).

VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
pointman11:
That balance is a difficult one. I battle that to. I see others around me who can do that so easily but I can' figure out why. You are not alone in this. Hopefully that can ease a little bit of isolation. In regards to him... You are an incredible woman and a man would be honored and blessed to have you in his life. He does exist. He is out there.  I am sure tgast there us a man looKing for exactly that in a woman. I know I do. He will find you and you him.
May 6, 2018
missdevhill:
Posting on SG helps. Thank you for always accepting me. I hope I never want to stop
May 6, 2018

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