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missdevhill

Riverside, CA

Member Since 2013

Followers 1241 Following 3721

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Back to square one & I hate it

Apr 30, 2018
8
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What happened?... I thought that I had gone sooo far & made such progress...

How did I get back here, to where I started from?

Saw that I made another evil man richer...again, before I got left behind.

Saw that he shared my progress with his loved ones, before my face was smashed into my failure & I became their doormat, so... Guess, he's not all bad.

Watching the entity that I worked so hard to build dissolve into the hands of other addicts of various afflictions - hurts & I am unable to stop it, every time.

Listening to these people talk about all their happiness - new loves, homes, cars, carhomes & vacations... Makes me want to puke.

Yeah... I'm filled with hate right now & I don't know how to not be.

Why do I always have to work so hard for nothing?

As great as I am, I will never be much...

How can I love me?

Looking for work sucks when you are suffering from depression.

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
pointman11:
Looking foir work doies suck. I hope you find something tgat brings enthusiasm back to you. But to say that you will never be much? I disagree whole heartedly. You are incredible.  You have passions. You have sensuality. No regular man deserves you and not any man would do. Physically you are breath taking. And so many men would feel honored by your attention. Being filled with hate will not be and anchor for you. You can do so much and will get to where you want to be. I believe that whole heartedly
Apr 30, 2018
littlejohn22:
i am so sorry you are in this situation, i wish i could be there for you. Know you are loved here,
Apr 30, 2018

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