melaniefromcharn

you know when your nose gets crusty in the winter from a dripping warm little cold, and you think it's snot, so you wipe and wipe, but really dead skin and scabs have just formed an itchy circle around each nostril? All day it feels hot and stinging, but you can't decide whether to massage some carmex into the irritated skin or just rub the angry fuck out of it till it bleeds smooth and clean... Well that, as far as i can describe, is the physical equivalent of how i've felt - emotionaly- since i hit puberty at about twelve. It only got worse when i got depressed, which leads up to the end of my senior year, which leads up to... now.
and the point?: That i spent so many lunches in a bathroom stall that i may be too hunched and confused to reach for some fucking nasal spray, snort loud, and get on with being happy. boo-hoo. it's not MY fault... i'd rather go have a cigarrette than write a blog about my life (when i'm only bitching due to a bad mood from new coplications from sexual situations). But nooooo, i can't smoke till i move out SEPT 16!!! to seattle. then i'll have both nicotine and vibrant culture to distract me from the crusty feeling and my disgust with... erm... people. I found a new band to drool for: Plaster. they're from seattle- go check them out on myspace, but don't linger, that place sucks balls and leads to underage ballsucking.