melaniefromcharn

after dozing for a few hours, i get the urge to put my day on the internet

"It's five-o-fucking AM(!) I've actually the willpower to make myself get up, but christ god today MUST the last of this hellhole shit college has spiraled into (degraded itself to) why are these teachers such fucking bitches? why is education conducted with such meaningless paramiters(sp?) that rigidly judge...
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i want a puppy. and i miss my cat. and i want more sex, and love. and i want money for tagging paints. gugh. and even value villiage won't hire me. thats quite fuckin low, son.

hope falls, often- and i think intrest fades always. most people are the same. thinking is boring now, but what else do i have? is "pure being" another faith term? is christ in my blood again? social projections embarress me the way masturbation should. still, i like quoting admirable people, and looking at good-looking ones. so enter the place of commerce in a mask. enter...
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Blonde!

it's finally time... time for a job. broke. i got real twisted up about life and my new drug-addled way of living it about three weeks ago, and vowed solid to cool down and start writing/playing guitar in the evenings instead of getting stoned. So then, i set out with the confident mindset that i was taking less drugs, and due to that confidence proceeded...
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didn't realize a person(myself) could crave weed and red wine with such a devoted passion. went to london with my sister and father for a week, and was confined to a kosher regime of sightseeing and shopping- no freedom for clubs or a sample of sweet U.K. dope, which was offered to me by a few boys 4AM, and which i had to turn down...
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wasn't supposed to write about that. fuck. i hate secrets.

woke up early (yes 11:00 is early) to study before class. fuckit. rather make a list here, inspired by manko and her snort-sweet friends, of things about me. but i'm changing this title to "7 firsts for melanie"

1. my first favorite movie was All Dogs go to Heaven, it has an atmosphere of dark pervesity, slum and slut, hallucinagenic fantasy, and childish kitsch, that...
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def. time for a new entry, thought about pasting in a myspace one, but decided that was just to lame-ass-lazy-lame even for me.
it's also time to cut back on the cigarettes since they seem to dumb me down so much. it shouldn't be hard, and i need the long chainsmoke hours for important things like guitar practice and my novel. (that novel is just...
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So even though by bank account is crying and drinking it's own urine in desperation, i've decided to buy Danzig tix. (too bad Himsa is playing with. When can i escape this Pettibone apeshit?) but i can't figure out how to get tickets. I think the blackest tour site was saying that they go on sale 2pm the day of - tho it didn't say...
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