Stephenie Meyer: Her vampires are sparkly, which I think we can all agree is wrong.
If you think anyone is sane you just don’t know enough about them. The key — and this is very relevant in our case — is to find someone whose insanity dovetails with your own.
Not unlike the toaster, I control darkness.
The problem with being nuts is that you don't always feel as if you're nuts. Sometimes, in fact, you feel perfectly sane, and there just happens to be a trailer-shaped dragon crouching in the lot next door.
I've seen more intelligence in the crotch lice of harem whores.
Science, you don't know, looks like magic.
Last time I really got to know myself it turned out there was a whole gang of bitches in there to deal with. I felt like the receptionist at a rehab center. They all had nice tits though, I gotta say.
Animals might put up with that smiley shit, but people will eventually kill you for it.
Routine feeds the illusion of safety...
I am a romance slut, and there's nothing I can do about it. If a guy does or says something romantic, I'm all "Oh, please excuse me, kind sir, let me dial down my IQ and oh, if it would please sir, may I offer you this moist, yet helpless va-jay-jay that seems to have lost its way.
May the IRS find that you deduct your pet sheep as an entertainment expense.
Don't drive drunk. Ever. Don't shag anyone you don't like, or who doesn't like you. Get a look at how people live in a place where you don't. Suffering is over-rated, don't pursue it. Ask for help when you need it, don't when you don't, and learn to recognize the difference. Don't confuse movement and progress. Be kind. Be forgiving. Pay attention.
Most of us don't live our lives with one, integrated self that meets the world, we're a whole bunch of selves.
All killer whales are named Kevin. You knew that, right?
Compliment but do not covet.
If you like what you're reading, I probably wrote it.
Now for random photos....
