1:51 AM 10/1/2015
I used to do this thing where I wouldn't take any names.
I would say I'm bad with names.
I don't need names.
In fact I go by several names and have mostly given up correcting people when they call me by the wrong name. Often in a group setting people will be talking to me and others who know me by...
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I feel so hollow I wish I could just implode.
There aren't enough of them to fill a tablespoon after all these months it took to cry them.
I think about her all the time and that'll probably never change.. But it takes so much to not backslide.
If it ends this way every fucking time.. Why try.
Or.. back to picking at ashes in the wasteland..
Wow is it ever alarming to smell the smoke and feel the heat fire from guilt and regret and was not the one that set the fire.
You are a bit compulsive and somewhat inconsiderate.
You are melancholy: you think quite often about the things you are unhappy about. You are intermittent: you have a hard time sticking with difficult tasks for a long period of time. And you are unconcerned with art: you are less concerned with artistic or creative activities than most people who participated in our...
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her : I'm curious to see you remote connect to my computer
me : Woman I told you to stop talking dirty to me
her : don't get horny
me : too late
Because in most games if you make the first move I'm one step closer to winning.
Does that sound bad?
It really isn't.
It just means we're a move into the game where I haven't already fucked up. When you make the first move I have an extra moment to think and the chances I'll fuck up my move are cut down drastically.
Now honestly...
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Originally I meant to post something else, but I don't know if I should leave this public. because for weeks driving home in the following state of mind is basically too dangerous and I need to have my license revoked for driving at all.
Basically that I spent most of my teenage years unwilling to drive. I had no reason to drive. I didn't want...
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(holy shit, I think I broke this site! I posted this blog then can't edit it for like 15 minutes, tried reloading, tried 3 different browsers, wtf!)
So posting while drinking, what could go wrong?
Well for starters... suidegirls.com isn't a valid domain and loading my blog apparently results in a Katy Perry song playing which isn't good for anyone.
So yeah. She's a sword...
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I mean saying yes, by no choice of my own, that's an option. But it is so repugnant that I can't abide it. Being called a stalker. So how to avoid it if it means walking away from you.
My aunt told me I should just walk away from you. I said you'd pushed me so far away from everything, blocking me on just about...
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Well fuck. And fuck.