After I left my husband in August of 2019, I found myself in a spot I’d never been in before. Single and alone. Always before I was that girl that always had a back up guy to run to. Something had always forced my hand in previous relationships. But with this one, well. That’s a story for another day.
In September of 2019 I did something against my nature, I signed up for Tinder. And for awhile it was great. Slept with some great people, and some not so great people. This is the period of my life I am unsure of what to call it. I like to this of it as a sexual awakening. In my marriage I had been cut off from the world of sex…for almost 3 years. Now, to some people that’s not a big deal, but being a relationship with no intimacy takes it toll. But once again, another day.
During this period I discovered what I enjoyed more than possibly anything else. Smoking and sex. The discovery of these things in my life was a major turning point. With green, anything was possible. It’s been 8 months since I started smoking every day, I went from spending hundreds of dollars on makeup and clothes trying to feel better about myself, to smoking every day and feeling a million times different.
Smoking opened a door to a world I had never been apart of, one that while I enjoyed occasionally, I would’ve never openly admitted to it. But here on SG, I feel like I have the opportunity to be myself. I am not hiding myself from the world, but fully embracing it.
