linkismyhero

So I saw my psychiatrist tonight. I've been feeling pretty depressed since I stopped the Wellbutrin (an antidepressant). Also, my panic attacks have increased both in frequency and intensity. Things aren't looking good in that department. However, I am determined to get through this without medication. My psychiatrist seemed skeptical at first and couldn't understand why I would elect to go through this without meds, but in the end he respects my choice, and even said some encouraging words: "if anyone can do this, YOU can."

In other news, I am absolutely hating the two classes I'm in. I cannot stand them. I told my psychiatrist this, and he actually suggested dropping the courses and getting a job, and graduating later. If I had realized how much I hated these two classes during the first week, I could have switched into other things, but I didn't and it's too late now.

I am really, really considering doing this. Mom would have a fit, I'm sure, but my psychiatrist supports me, and my therapist might, too. I'll have to talk to her about it on Friday. Tomorrow I will go see an advisor and bring my senior audit and figure out what other courses I could take to graduate in a future semester.

I just really can't stand these courses at all. They don't even seem like real college courses; I feel like I can't take them seriously. They don't interest me in the least. The first one, Programming Languages and Paradigms, does not have enough structure. I hate it. The second, Computer Systems Architecture, is all about hardware, which I have never understood, nor cared about.

So I'm not sure what to do. It would benefit me a lot to get a job right now, really. I might be able to make enough to pay for a future semester, rather than being next to broke like I am right now. It's just that Mom would be extremely upset about it, most likely. But if I can get my therapist and psychiatrist to back me up on this, and maybe even an advisor, maybe she would understand that it's the best option.

If it is the best option. I guess an advisor would be best able to tell me that. Maybe. I haven't been too impressed with the undergraduate advising for my major. Maybe I should have a little more faith in them.

I really wish I could do this. If I do, I absolutely plan to take the courses I need over the summer, and not let graduation slip away from me. I hope the advisor won't tell me something bad like they won't let me delay my graduation any longer, or that these two courses are the only things I can take. I just hate this. These classes STINK.

Of course, I could try to get through the programming course. I just don't see how I can get through Architecture. It just goes right over my head. I don't get it, nor do I care enough about it to try. Maybe I can just drop Architecture, and take the last course over the summer. I'll talk to the advisor about it.

Wish me luck, guys.