Thursday Aug 05, 2004

0
In the night it got bitter. sidewalks all end here in the unsaid unloved unheard.
Suffocation is a feeling so familiar.
We watched the shattered glass and wondered maybe if we ourselves could shatter like that. Not while you're stuck in this human form. all we can do is bleed. Gush blood and vomit bile and transmit diseases. Maybe if we could shatter like that...
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alley_:
I think death is beautiful. Maybe its just me.
mamabunny:
I wrote something, it was inspired by your name:



Lily the Lover
Tripped over the Atlantic
Fell victim to her beautiful skin
Glory days
Hollywood held her down
Jackie O shading her eyes

She was paved with a pale coat
Straight up with her glass slippers
Martini queen
sipping away
Stomach turned inside out
She told me
her beautiful bones
broke her heart
and the diamonds
outshined her soul

Some days
On her good days
i would pretend to wear her rubies
pretend that my hair was slick
all those pretty dresses
filled my empty room
I could break the masses
and make the children laugh

I could always put her back
run outside
and chase the sun
build sandcastles
Lily might have lived in
where i was the guest of honor
where we would drink the red sea
and talk about things we would change
boys we should have kissed
paths we should have walked
and the trains we missed

She was always brighter
Inside me
I hear her stories
Lily pours from me
She opens doors for me
and she always saves
all the lost time
in her Prada coat.

Thursday Aug 05, 2004

0
With Shawn, My baby. We are going to shoot a set today. Maybe at Bat cave. He makes my heart flutter when we're together, just a little less alone man. Every girl needs a crazy gay friend. we've been friends since i was small. used to write each other letters from institutions. His eyes are dangerous, Our energy combined is dangerous, Even deadly. I've missed...
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todd31:
I'll be looking forward to a new set from you. hope your doing good. the subway can be a disturbing place to hang out I know I've done it a couple times in my life. It was definately interesting if nothing else biggrin
sixtyfootqueenie:
DJD looking good!!!

you're sounding well and happy babes.. so great to hear!!!! get some proper writing done. you are very talented..
xxxx

Tuesday Aug 03, 2004

0
We sat there on the hotel room bed. outside was a sea of vampires. Now that we had this illusion of safety he handed me a roll of money. I think they were all 20's. I counted it. "You said you were going to give me more than this." I whispered. he handed me another roll. I went to take it from his sweaty hairy...
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ash:
Lily I hope you are doing alright sugar. I would like to call you soon, I just ... really need a friend right now.
tekky:
i want to sit with you one day, in a park....and just...talk. and i'll probably end up just hugging you while you tell me stories.

You're wonderful and tough as fuck.

Wednesday Jul 28, 2004

0
it was a week and a half stuck looking out the windows. Somebody shot me up with cocaine, I don't remember who cause the room was so dark. My heart rate was about 200. I was screaming and yelling at the doctors. Later they found me with no shoes near 197th uptown. I screamed at that psychiatrist until he admitted me to the psyche ward....
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pumpkineater:
if only there were more things in this world that made you as happy a bunny could i'd find them and bring them to you.
danielle:
how are you doing girl? haven't heard from you in awhile.

Wednesday Jul 14, 2004

0
Its raining in brooklyn. I need to leave the city. Its that gypsy blood. Got a letter from my homegirl, she's starting a collective in portland, maybe I'll join her. It'd be cool to live with a bunch of friends, mostly crazy artists and work there too. They have some good strip clubs. The rain used to make me so depressed though but maybe it...
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VIEW 25 of 43 COMMENTS
mikael:
I miss reading your intriguing journal updates. Hope all is well.
anakin5163:
hey hows u Lilly

Tuesday Jul 13, 2004

0
I don't know the equations running through her head or what the solutions are in the end. Mary whispers poems about recreation through the Telephone wires thousands of miles away in blistering heat, She says she can hear me starving. But its not me that i see. Its all of you. Whoring yourself on brain numbing tv shows , whoring yourself with a corporate black...
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nickfaust:
There is no such thing as a friend who just stands by and watches. I love your head, your heart and your vision.

I am selfish though, I want you to stick around. I admit it. The pain you eat and convert into diamonds grinds like shards of glass in my hope for your safety.

Peace Lily and to all of those who know you.
kikka:
love, kikka.

Thursday Jul 08, 2004

0
nights like this seem apocolyptic. My tragedy song haunts incessantly. Bill used to tell me i was in love with tragedy, With pictures of aids victims in uganda glued to the ceiling. we would fall asleep memorizing their faces so that even our dreams would be infected. If i could, i'd make a collage of the bones of this city. I think her heart has...
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mostwanted76:
Why don't you visit Boston we could get real ILL
todd31:
well as usuall it's great to hear from you wink hope your doing good biggrin

Sunday Jun 27, 2004

0
2 days of making the bad cells die and i left the white rooms with a 40 year old italian junkie. we fed off of each other like vampires and walked straight into the projects to buy a 28 dollar daydream in that lonely bathroom with holes in the walls and the door, and when i looked through them i thought maybe the outside world...
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mikael:
are you ok?
nocontrol:
I love this. Gorgeous, ugly words. Thank you for sharing it.

Tuesday Jun 22, 2004

0
I need resurection. I'm a recluse under someone elses heavy blankets watching documentaries on war. all my dreams smell like gases and murder. I'm collecting scars to tell a story.
In a while this will just be another memory that i don't care to look back upon. So may fragments. Missed connection with this tattered soul. We keep chasing death and it keeps us from...
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soma__:
* I'm collecting scars to tell a story. * best line ever. you have a way with words. and thanks for the b-day wishes kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss
scarlett:
skull

Saturday Jun 19, 2004

0
Its quiet now in my head. just the sound of dreams and the breath of the sleeping. She said "Maybe the doctor can fix me" and then the emergency room became her home. Sometimes i can't breathe though and they all touch me like i'm not real, suffocating my thoughts and i sweat out everything. A trail of little things in highway ditches, Little things...
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pumpkineater:
funny, all i hear is the snoring of a girl who sleeps 20 hours a day next to me.

you'll survive, you'll make it. take a deep breathe - then you'll start making wonderful new memories.
scumbag:
lily where are you i went looking for you but you were gone so i went and got from jino and i od'd yesterday and woke up in the hospital ;ast night so now i dont know if im moving or not where are you call me

Friday Jun 11, 2004

0
Its like july 5th now. In Texas that is.
Can't get his psychotic eyes out of my mind when he said "I really think god sent you here to me" inside a locked fence with painted trash everywhere. for some reason i can't read people lately. all the killers and predators hold out their hands for me and i silently take it.
kill me you...
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VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
soma__:
sso good.
danielle:
how are you?just wondering?
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