laceyk

I am still reeling from the loss of my ex coworker, who passed while giving birth to her child.
I attended her funeral this afternoon. There were so many feelings. Obviously, greif over the tragedy of the death of such a young woman during a time that should have been filled with job. But it was also strange because I had put off seeing my coworkers until I had a new position.

I was laid off at the beginning of the summer and it was difficult. Mainly I felt embarrassed because I was the one who had to leave. I felt as though it was a reflection of me as a person and worker when in reality it was a reflection of how much I made. .

But, seeing these folks again while still not having a job was difficult. It also made me realize I still wasn't over my old job (if this sounds like a relationship that is the exact analogy I have made). And that perhaps not wanting to give up on being with my old coworkers has been hindering me finding a new and better opportunity.

I did feel a bit like an outsider. It may have been all in my head, I am sure it was, but my own insecurities.

Regardless, it has been a difficult two days. And incredibly shocking. Many people have said that they are re-evaluating their lives. But I don't know if I am in the position to do so, I am just trying to find a new way to bring income in.