I am feeling better. I am feeling the life coming back. I saw some horses on the side of the road today & smiled. I yelled & flipped off some drivers. I have been impatient off & on all day. I am coming back to life alrighty. 
I had to write an apology email today. Bleh. I have so many of those to write. I...
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I had to write an apology email today. Bleh. I have so many of those to write. I...
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It is like the last peice was pulled out & the whole Jenga tower came tumbling down.
I feel too beat to even get angry at stupid drivers & stupid people. I don't even care. Which is weird for me. I am impatient most days.
I left to get groceries at 3:30. It is now 6:09. Where did that time go.
I walked up &...
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I feel too beat to even get angry at stupid drivers & stupid people. I don't even care. Which is weird for me. I am impatient most days.
I left to get groceries at 3:30. It is now 6:09. Where did that time go.
I walked up &...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
jayenn:
I'm sorry. I hope things get better soon.
Here's a hug:
[Edited on Apr 07, 2006 12:33AM]
Here's a hug:
[Edited on Apr 07, 2006 12:33AM]
candler:
*sigh* 
It was overwhelming. It opened the flood gates. It went from crying out of the dissapointment of last night to crying about everything else. Anything that was waiting inside just begging to be stirred up.
It started at 9:30pm when he called & it ended at 4am when I passed out finally after taking a xanax. I just couldn't think of any other way to...
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It started at 9:30pm when he called & it ended at 4am when I passed out finally after taking a xanax. I just couldn't think of any other way to...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
xxroninxx:
To be the voice of "tough love" or at least maybe a bit of a "rationale promoter"...
Take a step back hun, take a deep breath and....stop. Heh, just stop a moment and think about how much weight you're putting on everything and how, really, unnecessary it is.
You put it all on the line for one night, just a single date and you don't have to--and ya shouldn't. It only kills ya.
Just remind yourself that if anything is supposed to come out of the realtionship, it will on its own. It's not gonna come from any amount of worrying or excrutiating expectations and just..well, not any of the hell you put yourself through. All that hell is just in your head and if you just let go...you'll be amazed at how well things can manage when you just loosen the reigns a bit
Give in, babe! Give in to the fact that life and all its facets can't be controlled and that there are times when you just gotta shrug/smirk/laugh/whatever and go with the flow
Take a step back hun, take a deep breath and....stop. Heh, just stop a moment and think about how much weight you're putting on everything and how, really, unnecessary it is.
You put it all on the line for one night, just a single date and you don't have to--and ya shouldn't. It only kills ya.
Just remind yourself that if anything is supposed to come out of the realtionship, it will on its own. It's not gonna come from any amount of worrying or excrutiating expectations and just..well, not any of the hell you put yourself through. All that hell is just in your head and if you just let go...you'll be amazed at how well things can manage when you just loosen the reigns a bit
Give in, babe! Give in to the fact that life and all its facets can't be controlled and that there are times when you just gotta shrug/smirk/laugh/whatever and go with the flow
xxroninxx:
It kinda sounds like you basically...psyche yourself out. Of course theres no on/off switch for it but...heh, I dunno, if things start to get panicky just picture a mini-Ronin on your shoulder giving an award winning relaxation massage rivaled by none.
Yeah, we'll go with that.
Yeah, we'll go with that.
He canceled. It was for good reason. He was upset & said that he wouldn't make good company. He sounded upset. He had a bad conversation with his brother.
He tried to make plans with me for lunch later on the weekend. But all I could do at that moment was see the last four & a half hours of anxiety. Four & a half...
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He tried to make plans with me for lunch later on the weekend. But all I could do at that moment was see the last four & a half hours of anxiety. Four & a half...
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adelina:
You're being way too hard on yourself. There isn't any reason to feel guilty about not asking about him how he's doing - he knows you care about him, and he did cancel afterall! ♥
suicidal_george:
Don't worry you have two extra days to file your taxes this year.
So, I am about to go see my favorite guy in awhile. I am just on here killing time, waiting for him to get home from work.
I am nervous, so I might throw up. But, I am not as nervous as I usually am so I will probably only throw up alittle bit... in my mouth.
I am excited. Weeks & days & hours...
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I am nervous, so I might throw up. But, I am not as nervous as I usually am so I will probably only throw up alittle bit... in my mouth.
I am excited. Weeks & days & hours...
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bankerboy:
Good luck with all that!
Today is day TWENTY. Sick. Flu.
I can't breath. I can't eat. I can't sit & do anything without a sneeze & cough attack... tissues everywhere! lol
And after 19 days of this... day TWENTY is the WORST!!!
But still I was feeling restless today so, against my better judgement, I decided to go to Walmart & finally pick out some clothes that fit me....
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I can't breath. I can't eat. I can't sit & do anything without a sneeze & cough attack... tissues everywhere! lol
And after 19 days of this... day TWENTY is the WORST!!!
But still I was feeling restless today so, against my better judgement, I decided to go to Walmart & finally pick out some clothes that fit me....
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
frankeng:
in the words of dark vader. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
cybele:
Yes, some days it feels as if every day is April 1st, doesn't it? We are knee- deep in fools, my girl!!
Sorry you are feeling so wretched, hon. I know it's not your birthday, but how 'bout we pretend, okay?
Take care, kiddo.
Sorry you are feeling so wretched, hon. I know it's not your birthday, but how 'bout we pretend, okay?
Take care, kiddo.
So, I thought I have just had the flu & a cold for the last 18 days... but I suspect... could THIS really be allergies? Well, fuck... this is really fucked up then.
I started generic claritin afew days ago. I hope it kicks in soon. I can't fucking breath. I can't stop coughing & sneezing & itching... it is really getting annoying. This is...
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I started generic claritin afew days ago. I hope it kicks in soon. I can't fucking breath. I can't stop coughing & sneezing & itching... it is really getting annoying. This is...
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dmac:
I actually found the design on theTattoo Johnny website. I usually go to a guy named Mav Mess (crazy name, but a great guy) at Deluxe Tattoos on SE Powell. He's done three of my tattoos and he's great. An absolutely perfectionist.
Hey, be careful of that yucky cold/allergy thing. We've seen way too many cases turn into walking pneumonia this season so we're telling all our patients to take it extra easy and let the virus run its course. Lots of fluids and rest....blah blah blah. It's a nasty ass bug this year, for sure!
Hey, be careful of that yucky cold/allergy thing. We've seen way too many cases turn into walking pneumonia this season so we're telling all our patients to take it extra easy and let the virus run its course. Lots of fluids and rest....blah blah blah. It's a nasty ass bug this year, for sure!
emmanouil:
I have been in the hospital twice for drug allergies. I am also very allergic to several plants that grow in Crete, the island where I come from. I get the whole sneezing, itching and coughing package.
My newest favorite song. It will surely go into my top 20 all time favorites.
Crush - Dave Matthews Band
Crazy how it feels tonight
Crazy how you make it all alright, love
Crush me with the things you do
& I do for you anything too
Sitting. Smoking. Feeling high.
& In this moment... ahhh it feels so right
Lovely lady
I am at...
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Crush - Dave Matthews Band
Crazy how it feels tonight
Crazy how you make it all alright, love
Crush me with the things you do
& I do for you anything too
Sitting. Smoking. Feeling high.
& In this moment... ahhh it feels so right
Lovely lady
I am at...
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brightredscream:
You're very welcome...
I can understand what you're saying - I'm a rat owner, and I'm down from having 18 to 4.
They don't live nearly as long as cats - but you still get attached...and the heartache has just been way too much.
So after the last four pass - I don't think I'll be owning anymore sadly...but I have my dog - and that fills the void of companionship - although I'll really miss having rats.
Rabbits are pretty similar to cats...they just don't usually care for being picked up and cuddled - but they WILL come to you for affection, and sit on your lap and lie down with you once they bond to you.
It's nice because they don't need to be caged while you're at home - just make sure your home is rabbit proofed and rabbit safe - and the bun has things to play with - and all is good
I really am sorry for your loss
I can understand what you're saying - I'm a rat owner, and I'm down from having 18 to 4.
They don't live nearly as long as cats - but you still get attached...and the heartache has just been way too much.
So after the last four pass - I don't think I'll be owning anymore sadly...but I have my dog - and that fills the void of companionship - although I'll really miss having rats.
Rabbits are pretty similar to cats...they just don't usually care for being picked up and cuddled - but they WILL come to you for affection, and sit on your lap and lie down with you once they bond to you.
It's nice because they don't need to be caged while you're at home - just make sure your home is rabbit proofed and rabbit safe - and the bun has things to play with - and all is good
I really am sorry for your loss
I mean, if I knew anything about love, I would be out there making it, instead of sitting in here talking to you guys.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
frankeng:
yup they do alot of thing that people don't know about
brightredscream:
If you want some info on rabbits and the type of care they need - check out.
Rabbit Info
and
OREO - Ontario Rabbit Education Organization
Rabbit Info
and
OREO - Ontario Rabbit Education Organization
I haven't blown dry my hair yet today & now it looks horribly awful. But, I don't care.
I have also been feeling gloomy, reflective, introspective... you know... personal shit, etc. lately... well, you know I am always like that though.
I often wonder if I have missed out on my soulmate because I act so stupid when I fall for someone hardcore... I act...
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I have also been feeling gloomy, reflective, introspective... you know... personal shit, etc. lately... well, you know I am always like that though.
I often wonder if I have missed out on my soulmate because I act so stupid when I fall for someone hardcore... I act...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
frankeng:
your great and tommy just put his nose up at me when i told him that
dmac:
Glad you liked the poem. I actually had to memorize that for some silly ass assignment in high school a million years ago and it's just always stuck. No matter how hard I've tried to forget it and no matter how sad it tends to make me feel, it's always spoken to my own heart. I'm happy it spoke to yours too.
There is really nothing like watching North Country to make you realize that your life isn't really that bad after all.
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xxroninxx:
I have done my share of over analized induced supe'ah freakout shenanagins...
but that's also why I try to make a real conscious effort to realize when I'm doing it and what have you and try to, i dunno... basically keep that in check.
Otherwise I'd go nuts.
but that's also why I try to make a real conscious effort to realize when I'm doing it and what have you and try to, i dunno... basically keep that in check.
Otherwise I'd go nuts.
sluttygoodgirl:
Blue Nike skates with the swoosh and yellow wheels??! Lucky you! Good thing you kept 'em.
Glad to hear your son is doing so well, that's always nice to hear as a parent.
So, the end of the dream *could* have freaked him out.....but even if it did, he'll get over it.
North Country huh...I'll have to check it out.
Glad to hear your son is doing so well, that's always nice to hear as a parent.
So, the end of the dream *could* have freaked him out.....but even if it did, he'll get over it.
North Country huh...I'll have to check it out.
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friedhamster:
No, that cat is fat.
suicidal_george:
cute? that's kitten abuse! Talk about "hang in there, baby", someone's trying to flush him!
for what it's worth i don't think you say weird things and such. It least you've never said anything to make me raise my eyebrows and take a step back.
for what it's worth i don't think you say weird things and such. It least you've never said anything to make me raise my eyebrows and take a step back.