Ok, I feel better about that bonsai kitten stuff. Thank god. That really had me all mixed up.
Lately I have been so lonely & sad. Well, maybe more along the lines of deeply depressed... perhaps alittle wish in there for death. But, I love my son more then I want to die, so I will never do anything about that wish.
I do remember those days when going out was the thing to do; all day and all night if I could. I think living in the fast lane caught up with me though, in some aspects for sure. Maybe too, I am being more conservative in what I choose as entertainment. I don't know .... also I have gone to church twice in the past month not to be entertained though. Spiritual enrichment is a need for me and that's the only place I know where to find it ... if it has ever been lost. Perhaps the requirement is to seek spirituality out ... I don't know.
Oh man, that ant analogy is great.
I also hide in my house to avoid people who want to "help" me a little too much with my health! I've realized that hiding in the house, even though it gets knocked a lot as "anti-social" etc, is really a great way to deal with all the trouble that comes with being sick.
It's so cool for me to be able to talk to someone that understands what I'm going through. Have a great weekend! Party if you can!
Lately I have been feeling: wonderful, sad, beautiful, scared, depressed, excited, hopeful, ugly, angry, melancholy, shy, lonely, appreciated, guilty, content....
I feel like smiling & crying & laughing & screaming. Minute to minute. Day to day. It is always changing & all this makes me feel so very...
I just saw Saw today. Have you seen Saw? I hadn't seen Saw until I saw Saw today!
(ok, that is even annoying me now)
My son has been begging & begging me to rent it since forever. I thought it would gross me out & mess with my mind too much (you know what I am talkin' about, yeah, that whole foot thang). But,... Read More
I've been invited to .myspace.com. Anyone of you all use that? What's up with it? I wanna be all cool & use html's to pretty-up my page, but I ain't cool like that. It should be fun to figure out though. Plus, now that I am single maybe being linked up to such sites... Read More
After all that sadness yesterday, I went up into the great woods to my friend's grandma's house & we spent from 1pm to 1am making tamales from scratch. It was fun sitting around, gossiping & rolling tamales. I think we made about 100 or so. They turned out so yummy & I zipped a bunch up with their vaccum-foodstorage-thingymajigger.
I think boys have a hard time "getting it" when it comes to illness because they are brought up not to have any sympathy or empathy for their own selves. Also, they are brought up (usually, I mean) only valuing themselves as problems solvers, so when they face an illness they can't cure, they freak a little.
just MHO.
I hope you are feeling better about the breakup sitch. Fuck, breakups suck so bad. At least you have lots of teh cute SG ass to cheer you up!
Yesterday I hung out with Suicidal_george. He played me some songs on his guitar. I love it when someone plays guitar & I am the only one in the room. It is nice. He played me a song he wrote too & it was surprisingly clever! I like when people surprise me that way.
We talked about conspiracies & love & music.... yes, all... Read More