A couple weeks ago i posted something about my depression diagnosis as a high school freshman and my struggles with it ever since. I mentioned that i just get down. In this funk of sorts and i can't pull myself out of it usually and eventually it just passes in time
I find myself in a funk at this point now for a few reasons. I'm in incredible amounts of physical pain due to a condition i was diagnosed with a couple days ago. FAI for short because the long version is tough to spell. But basically the hip & socket that is supposed to be smooth for easy movement in my hip is not so smooth. it's rugged and both the socket & the femur head are abnormally shaped so it's causing the bones to rub against each other and tear away the cartilage around it. It's something that i was more than likely born with and my activities over the course of my life(the various physical labor jobs) have made it worse to the point of this kind of pain. It will involve surgery of some kind whether it be open hip or arthroscopic that's to be determined when i talk to a specialist either way it will suck.
as if that isn't enough the issues with my brother got heated last week and he said something to me that has really bothered me ever since and i can't shake it. because it was such a out of left field hurtful and potentially family shattering thing and i dunno if he said it to cause some hurt or it was something that just slipped out and he didnt realize how much it would bother me. But how he presented it to me tells me he's been coached/influenced to say what he said by his "friends"
Take that pair it with an untimely and heartbreaking rejection by an amazing beautiful girl who doesn't seem to know what she wants and then this morning i find out my grandfather has to have surgery the first week of april to try and remove cancer and it's been a whirlwind of depressing emotions and i'm having issues shaking things right now.
But now, all of you are aware of whats going on in my life and what ive been dealing with in the past few weeks(and months with the hip) So i thank you for your support and understanding right now with everything. thank you
